Cut and Run 3 - Fish and Chips

miserable position. He wasn’t sorry, though. That fax machine had deserved what it got. And Zane had laughed his ass off.
    There were only thirty minutes left in the work day, and then he was free to go do cartwheels in the parking lot. He glanced at Alston, who was asking another question, and then Ty’s pants pocket vibrated.
    He actually jerked in his seat before he could stop himself, quickly leaning forward to place his elbows on the table and cover the reaction.
    “Something to add?” McCoy asked.
    “Nothing constructive,” Ty admitted with an innocent smile.
    McCoy rolled his eyes slightly and nodded. As he continued outlining the plan to make the Bureau more “fan-friendly,” Ty leaned back again and pulled his phone out of his pocket slowly. He kept it under the table as he slid it open and pressed the button that would open the text message he’d received. Ty was almost surprised to see that it was from Zane and not one of the usual suspects.
    Baby seal walks into a club.
    Ty pressed his lips together tightly and looked up at McCoy as he tapped out his response to Zane’s weak opening gambit.
    You shouldnt club baby seals. Bastard.
    It wasn’t a minute before the phone vibrated in his hand again. He quickly set it to silent so no one would hear the vibrations, and then he glanced down at it to read the new message.
    Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
    Ty’s lips twitched as he tapped out a quick response.
    Is he being held in a duracell?
    He returned his attention to McCoy just in time. McCoy slid a file across the table toward him, and Ty opened it as he massaged his left temple.
    It was a proposal that outlined a plan to pull as many government and municipal service organizations as possible into a softball league and then open up the games to the public. Ty huffed in amusement.
    “Think you could get the ball rolling on that if it’s the plan we go with?” McCoy asked.
    Ty nodded slowly and then looked up at McCoy. “I know a guy who knows a guy,” he drawled with an easy smile.
    “I thought you might,” McCoy said, sounding pleased with himself.
    That was why Ty was here, then, because he’d played on the Bureau team ever since he’d been transferred to Baltimore and knew just about everyone. That had to be it, because everyone knew Ty didn’t give a shit about public opinion and had nothing to do with bank robberies or fires.
    McCoy moved on to the White Collar dude who still didn’t have a name but had a whole hell of a lot of opinions, and Ty surreptitiously checked the phone again. The message icon blinked at him, and he flipped the phone open to read it.
    Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
    Ty stared at it for a moment before looking up and licking the corner of his mouth to keep from smiling. Why the hell couldn’t Zane have done this when Ty was bored out of his mind and not sitting in a meeting? He was probably out there Googling jokes on his computer.
    “Grady, what do you think?” McCoy asked.
    Ty looked at his superior for a split-second of indecision, knowing full well he had absolutely no idea what he’d been asked. “I think it’s a shit idea,” he finally answered confidently.
    “Care to expound on that?” McCoy asked him wryly.
    “Not really,” Ty answered, his voice not quite as steady.
    “Okay, at least we’re all in agreement on that one,” McCoy replied as he took a piece of paper that probably outlined another PR proposal and tossed it over his shoulder.
    Ty slowly let out the breath he’d been holding and began tapping a response to Zane.
    Fuck you zane. Fuck you. So much.
    The answer came back quickly. Zane had to have been sitting there waiting.
    I’ll get you a salami sandwich for dinner. With extra mayo.
    Ty looked up and around the table, trying desperately to concentrate on what they were saying as he jabbed at the keys of his phone to respond. Zane’s attempts at seductive innuendo were funnier than his jokes.
    All Ill get from you is fired.
    If you go for an interview at a rubber stamp company, try to make a good impression.
    Ty fought not to roll his eyes as he looked up from the phone he was still trying to hide in his lap. He refused to let one of Zane’s bad puns have the last word.
    He had to sit for a moment, searching his store of bad jokes for an appropriate answer. He hated to sink to Zane’s level, but you had to fight pun with pun.
    He looked up and took the next five minutes to answer questions