Cutler 01 - Dawn

before the sun rose until an hour or so after it went down.
    "At first I didn't care what happened to me; I was that depressed, but after a while I got so tired of the work and hearing Coons shouting this and shouting that . . .
    "What did it, I suppose, was the night he hit me. He was complaining about the supper, and I said I thought it was pretty good, too good for him. He hit me with the back of his hand, but so hard, I fell off the chair.
    "I was going to just punch and kick at him, but Dawn, this guy is big and he's as hard as bricks. Later that night Beryle came to me and told me the best thing I could do for myself was run away like the others. Seems he's done this before—go fetch a foster kid and make him work until he drops. They don't care back at the home, because they get so many kids, they're glad anyone comes to get one."
    "Oh, Jimmy . . . if Fern was given to mean people . . ."
    "I don't think so. It's different with babies. Lots of good people want babies because they can't have their own for one reason or another. Don't look so glum," he said, smiling. "I'm sure she's all right."
    "It's not that, Jimmy. What you just said reminded me of something terrible. They tell me that's why Momma and Daddy stole me—she had a baby right before, and the baby was born dead."
    His eyes widened, and then he nodded as if he had always known it.
    "So Daddy talked her into taking you," he concluded. "It was just like him. I don't doubt any of it. Now look what a mess he got us all in. I mean, I'm in. You ain't in such a mess, I guess."
    "Oh, Jimmy," I said, sitting beside him quickly. "I am. I hate it here."
    "What? With this big, fancy hotel and all? Why?"
    I began by describing my real mother and her continuous nervous condition. Jimmy listened intently, his eyes full of wonder as I related the story of my kidnapping and how it had affected her and made her into some kind of invalid soaked in luxury.
    "But weren't they glad to see you when you were brought here?" he asked. I shook my head.
    "As soon as I arrived here, I was made a chambermaid and put into a little room away from the family. You won't have much trouble imagining how mean Clara Sue has been," I said. Then I told him about being accused of stealing and related the horrible search I had been put through.
    "She made you take off your clothes?"
    "Strip to the bone. Afterward, she locked me in my room."
    He stared at me in disbelief.
    "What about your real father?" he asked. "Did you tell him what she did?"
    "He's so strange, Jimmy," I said and told him how he had come to the door and refused to do anything until I had agreed to the compromise over my name. "Then he left, claiming he had to get the key, but Philip said the key was in the door when he came to fetch me to bring me to you."
    He shook his head.
    "And here I thought you were living high on the hog."
    "I don't think my grandmother's ever going to let up on me. For some reason she hates me, hates the sight of me," I said. "I just can't get it through my head that Daddy did this. I can't." I shook my head and stared down at my hands in my lap.
    "Well, I can," Jimmy said sharply, drawing my eyes to his. Fiery anger filled his eyes. "You don't want to believe it; you never liked believing bad things about him, but you gotta now."
    I told Jimmy about my letter to Daddy.
    "I hope he writes back and tells me his side of it."
    "He won’t," Jimmy insisted. "And even if he does, it'll be all lies."
    "Jimmy, you can't go on hating him like this. He's still your real father, even if he's not mine."
    "I don't want to ever think of him as my father. He's dead with my mother," he declared, his eyes burning with such fury, it brought an ache to my heart. I couldn't keep the tears trapped under my eyelids; they burned so.
    "No sense in crying about it, Dawn. There's nothing we can do to change things. I'm going down to Georgia and maybe live with Momma's side of the family, if they'll have me. I don't mind working hard, as long as it's for my own family."
    "I wish I was going with you, Jimmy. I still feel those people are more my family than these people, even though I never met them."
    "Well, you can't. If you came with me, we'd be hunted down for sure."
    "I know." My tears kept coming. Now that Jimmy was here, I couldn't help myself.
    "I'm sorry you're not happier, Dawn," he said and slowly brought his arm up and around my shoulders. "Whenever I lay awake thinking about how terrible all this was, I would