Cutler 02 - Secrets of the Morning

my things back," I cried. I couldn't stop my sobbing.
    "You don't know how ridiculous you look," she said. "All right," she added after a long pause. "After the earth has absorbed the taint of evil, I will see to it that Luther brings you those garments. Now get back to work. You need to work, to build your resolve; your castle of righteousness must be fortified against any more incursions by the devil."
    She started to turn away.
    "But my other things . . . I've got to call to see what's happened to them. I don't even have a comb for my hair now," I said, holding up the knotted strands.
    "There is no sense in calling," she replied with an alarming calmness in her voice.
    "Why not?"
    "Because I have instructed that those things are not to be sent here until after you have given birth and you will leave. It was enough I had to deal with what you brought on your back."
    "But . . . how could you lie to me? Everyone's lied to me," I added, realizing the truth.
    "Everyone's lied to you?" She started to laugh. "What do you call what you've been doing? Now stop whining and do what has to be done. You must show some forbearance. Surely, you possess some grit. From what my sister has told me, the Cutlers all come from a strong stock."
    "I don't have any Cutler stock," I muttered, but as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. Her eyes widened.
    "What? What did you say?" she demanded, stepping toward me again.
    I felt myself begin to shiver. I had never seen a face so filled with both fire and ice. Her eyes flared, but her expression was so cold. Who knew what other horrors she would design for me if she knew the truth of my birth? I thought.
    "Nothing," I said quickly.
    She fixed her eyes on me, her gaze so intensely penetrating, I had to turn away. Each second ticked by with the boom of thunder. My heart pounded against my chest.
    "Just finish your chores," she finally spit and pivoted again to march away. My thumping heart slowed, yet my skin felt clammy and the hair on my neck still bristled. I thought about turning around and running out. But penniless, with nothing but this ugly hospital gown on, where would I go? There wasn't anything to do but wait for an opportunity to leave, I thought. As soon as she did return my things, I would find a way to Upland Station and try to call Daddy Longchamp. Surely, he would find a way to help me.
    Despondent and defeated, I returned to the kitchen to get the pail of water and soap and the brush and then climbed the stairs to begin work on the filthy and dusty wing of the great house.
     
    As I dusted and cleaned the pieces of furniture near the stairway, I couldn't help but feel as though all the sullen looking ancestors with their harsh and severe expressions were gazing down at me hatefully. Miss Emily's portrait would easily take its rightful place along these walls, I thought. What an unhappy family, distrustful and afraid of the devil's presence in anyone and everything. It was easy now to understand why Grandmother Cutler was the way she was, I thought. In fact, one of the sour looking women looked just like her.
    Every fifteen minutes or so, I had to carry the dirtied pail of water to my bathroom to empty it and fill it up again. It began to weigh heavier and heavier and the pain that had begun in a tiny spot on my lower back grew larger and larger like an expanding circle of fire. I had to rest more often and take deep breaths. The work was making my stomach feel like a heavy weight tied around my waist.
    I was in the middle of wiping down one of the benches when I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Charlotte holding an apple.
    "You forgot to eat your lunch," she said, thrusting the apple toward me. I paused and sat back against the wall, exhausted.
    "Thank you," I said, taking the apple. She stood there with a wide smile on her face, watching me bite into it.
    "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Emily always says," she sang.
    "I'm sure no doctor would want to come here anyway," I mumbled. "Charlotte," I said, suddenly thinking of a possibility, "do you ever go to Upland Station?"
    "Sometimes Emily takes me to the general store and buys me some sour balls," she replied.
    "Then you don't go away from the house very much, do you?" I asked.
    "I go to the gazebo when it's nice out and feed the birds. Do you want to feed the birds?"
    "First day off," I said dryly, but she didn't understand. She smiled happily. I took another bite