Cutler 02 - Secrets of the Morning

I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I started to sob uncontrollably. Michael sat down beside me and took my hands into his. He kissed away some of my tears and put his arm around my shoulders.
    "Here now, it will be all right. I promise. It can't be that bad; nothing is that bad. How can I help you? What's gone wrong?"
    "Michael . . ." I swallowed. "I'm pregnant."
    He didn't blink nor did he turn away, but a funny glazed look came into his eyes.
    "Are you sure?" he asked. His tight smile widened and he looked like he would laugh. "Girls are always saying they think they're pregnant."
    "Yes. I'm positive," I said firmly. I was surprised at his reaction. He didn't act upset or angry. He looked thoughtful and sat back to contemplate me.
    "How do you know for sure?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.
    "It's been over six weeks since my period and I have some of the other symptoms."
    "So you haven't gone to a doctor then?"
    "No, but I'm sure. There's no sense pretending it isn't so. I've been sick a number of mornings now, and . . . and there are other changes in my body."
    "I see. Well, we still have some time before you have to say anything. You certainly don't look pregnant. I bet you won't show it for a good two months more. By that time," he said, "my semester as visiting celebrity teacher will have been over. Does anyone else know?" he asked quickly.
    "My roommate," I said.
    "Oh." His face turned glum.
    "But she doesn't know about you; she thinks the man I'm seeing is named Allan and he's a businessman."
    "Very good," he said, brightening quickly. "Let's keep it that way."
    "But Michael, what about afterward?" I asked.
    "Afterward? Oh, afterward. I go directly to Miami from here. I have a short tour in Florida, but I don't have to be back in New York for rehearsals for the show until the summer. You'll have the baby down in Florida then," he said quickly.
    "Down in Florida? You mean, I'll go with you?"
    "Of course. You can't very well stay here once it's out." He smiled. "You don't think I would desert you, do you? Not after I have invested all this time and energy in making you a singing star."
    "Oh Michael!" I threw my arms around him and he laughed.
    "Now, now, take it easy. You're a pregnant woman, you know. You have to be careful how you toss yourself about" He kissed the tip of my nose. A tingle traveled through my fingers laced in his.
    "But Michael," I cried, "a mother. I wanted to sing, to be with you on the stage as we dreamt I would be."
    "And you will," he said. "What, you think a baby will hinder your career? Absolutely not. We can afford the best nanny in town. Only the best for my wife and child anyway," he added.
    Just hearing him say "wife" made my heart glow and washed away all the sadness and tears. Those gray clouds that seemed to follow me everywhere I went were blown far off beyond the horizon.
    "We'll take the baby with us everywhere. I have a number of entertainer friends who do the same thing," he assured me.
    But I remembered the things Agnes had told me about marriage, a family and show business.
    "Michael, isn't it so much harder to raise a family when you're in show business?"
    "It's harder, but it's not impossible. Especially, if two people love each other as much as you and I do. So," he said, clapping his hands together and standing. "No more tears. Come on now." He held his hand out for me to take. "I'll have my taxi drop you off at your residence on my way to my meeting."
    He helped me put my overcoat back on and put on his own.
    "Now remember," he said after he kissed my cheek, "you must keep this quite secret until I'm finished at the Bernhardt School. There are some other teachers here who would just love driving me out on the furious waves of a scandal. It might even hurt my singing career."
    "Oh Michael, don't worry. No one will know anything. I'd die before saying anything to anyone."
    "But you already have . . . to your roommate," he reminded me.
    "Yes, but Trisha won't say anything to anyone either. She's my best friend. I can trust her."
    "I would still not tell her about me. Keep it as you have it. It's perfect. You're quite ingenious, you know," he said and I beamed with pride as he put his arm around my shoulders and led me out.
    By the time I returned to the residence, dinner had ended. It was Trisha's week to help so she was still clearing the table when I arrived. She was the only one left in the dining room.
    "What happened to you?" she asked. She