Cutler 05 - Darkest Hour

stomach behind the bed just as Emily thrust open my door.
    "What's going on in here? What happened?" she demanded.
    "My lamp fell off the table and broke," I said, stepping out of the bathroom.
    "What . . . why are you dressed up?"
    "I wanted to see how I would look if I had been permitted to go to the party like every other young girl my age," I retorted.
    "Ridiculous." She screwed her face into a tight, suspicious look and narrowed her eyes as she gazed over the room and then stopped when she saw the window open. "Why is that window open so far?"
    "I felt warm," I said
    "You'll have all sorts of flying insects in here." She started toward it, but I shot out before her and reached the window first. When I looked down, I saw that Niles had slipped under my bed. Emily stood in the center of my room, still gazing at me with interest.
    "Papa didn't want you to go to the party; he certainly didn't want you dressing for it. Take off those silly clothes," she ordered.
    "These are not silly clothes."
    "It's silly to wear them in your room, isn't it? Well?" she said when I didn't respond.
    "Yes, I suppose it is," I said.
    "Then, take them off and put them away." She folded her arms under her small bosom and pulled her shoulders back. I could see she wasn't going to be satisfied and leave until I had done what she asked, so I went to the mirror and unfastened my dress. I slipped it off and stepped out of it. Then I took off Mamma's necklace and bracelet and put them in the box on my vanity table. After I had hung up my dress, Emily relaxed.
    "That's better," she said. "Instead of doing all these silly things, you should be praying and seeking forgiveness for your actions."
    I was standing there in my brassiere and panties, expecting her to leave, but she continued to stare at me.
    "I've been thinking about you," she said. "Thinking about what I should do, what God wants me to do, and I have decided He wants me to help you. I will give you the prayers and the sections of the Bible to read over and over and if you do what I ask, you may be saved. Will you do it?"
    I thought agreeing was the only way to get her out of my room.
    "Yes, Emily."
    "Good. Get on your knees," she ordered.
    "Now?"
    "There is no time like the present," she recited. "On your knees," she repeated, pointing to the floor. I did so beside the bed. She pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket and thrust it down to me. "Read and pray," she ordered. I took it slowly. It was Psalm Fifty-one, a long one. I groaned silently but began.
    "Have mercy upon me, O God . . . "
    When I was finished, Emily nodded, satisfied. "Say this before you go to sleep every night," she prescribed. "Understand?"
    "Yes, Emily."
    "Good. All right then, good night."
    I breathed with relief when she left. The moment the door closed, Niles slid out from under the bed.
    "Good grief," he said, standing, "I never realized she was so crazy."
    "It's a lot worse than this, Niles," I said. And then we both realized I was standing there in my bra and panties. Niles's eyes softened. Fraction by fraction, he moved closer. I didn't turn away nor run for my robe. When there were only inches of space between us, he took my hand.
    "You're so beautiful," he whispered.
    I let him kiss me and I pressed my lips harder to his. The fingertips of his right hand brushed the left side of my breast. Don't, don't, I wanted to yell. Let's not do anything more, anything that would give credence to Emily's view of me as evil, but my excitement smothered the cries of my conscience and replaced them with a moan of pleasure instead. My arms spoke for me, drawing him closer so I could kiss him again and again. I felt his hands move faster, stroking, rubbing, tracing the lines of my shoulders until his fingertips found the clasp. I clung to him, my cheek pressed against his thudding heart. He hesitated, but I looked up into his eyes and said yes with mine. I felt the clasp undo and the bra seemed to lift itself from my bosom under its own power. As my breasts were uncovered, we sat on my bed and Niles brought his lips to my nipples.
    All resistance in me evaporated. I let him lower me to the pillow. I closed my eyes and felt his lips trace the lines of my bosom and then move down to my belly button. I felt his hot breath on my stomach.
    "Lillian," he whispered. "I love you. I do love you."
    I pressed my hands to his face and brought him up until his lips were on mine again, while his hands continued to fondle my