Cyberpunk

octaves.
    “Frankly, Bug, I detest your voice at any pitch.”
    “What is your favorite color?”
    “I don’t have one.”
    “Yesterday your favorite color was salmon.”
    “Well, today it’s cranberry.” The little pest was silent for a moment while it retrieved and compared color libraries. Zoranna tried to catch up with the holovid, but she’d lost the thread of the story.
    “You have a phone call,” Bug said. “Ted Chalmers at General Genius.”
    Zoranna sat up straight and patted her hair. “Put him on and squelch the vid.” A miniature hologram of Ted with his feet on his desk was projected in the air before her. Ted was an attractive man Zoranna had wanted to ask out a couple times, but never seemed able to catch between spousals. By the time she’d hear he was single again, he’d be well into his next liaison. It made her wonder how someone with her world-class investigative skills could be so dateless. She’d even considered assigning Hounder to monitor Ted’s availability status in order to get her foot in his door.
    When Ted saw her, he smiled and said, “Hey, Zoe, how’s our little prototype?”
    “Driving me crazy,” she said. “Refresh my memory, Ted. When’s the Inquisition supposed to end?”
    Ted lowered his feet to the floor. “It’s still imprinting? How long have you had it now?” He consulted a display and answered his own question. “Twenty-two days. That’s a record.” He got up and paced his office, walking in and out of the projected holoframe.
    “No kidding,” said Zoranna. “I’ve had marriages that didn’t last that long.” She’d meant for this to be funny, but it fell flat.
    Ted sat down. “I wish we could continue the test, but unfortunately we’re aborting. We’d like you to return the unit—” He glanced at his display again, “—return Bug as soon as possible.”
    “Why? What’s up?”
    “Nothing’s up. They want to tweak it some more is all.” He flashed her his best PR smile.
    Zoranna shook her head. “Ted, you don’t pull the plug on a major field test just like that.”
    Ted shrugged his shoulders. “That’s what I thought. Anyway, think you can drop it in a shipping chute today?”
    “In case you haven’t noticed,” she said, “I happen to be in a transcontinental Slipstream car at the moment, which Bug is navigating. I left Hounder at home. The soonest I can let Bug go is when I return in three weeks.”
    “That won’t do, Zoe,” Ted said and frowned. “Tell you what. General Genius will send you, at no charge, its Diplomat Deluxe model, pre-loaded with transportation, telecommunications, the works. Where will you be tonight?”
    Something surely was wrong. The Diplomat was GG’s flagship model and expensive even for Zoranna. “I’ll be at APRT 24,” she said, and when Ted raised an eyebrow, explained, “My sister lives there.”
    “APRT 24 it is, then.”
    “Listen, Ted, something stinks. Unless you want me snooping around your shop, you’d better come clean.”
    “Off the record?”
    “Fuck off the record. I have twenty-two days invested in this test and no story.”
    “I see. You have a point. How’s this sound? In addition to the complimentary belt, we’ll make you the same contract for the next test. You’re our team journalist. Deal?” Zoranna shrugged, and Ted put his feet back on the desk. “Heads are rolling, Zoe. Big shake-up in product development. Threats of lawsuits. We’re questioning the whole notion of combining belt valet technology with artificial personality. Or at least with this particular personality.”
    “Why? What’s wrong with it?”
    “It’s too pushy. Too intrusive. Too heavy-handed. It’s a monster that should have never left the lab. You’re lucky Bug hasn’t converted yet, or you’d be suing us too.”
    Ted was exaggerating, of course. She agreed that Bug was a royal pain, but it was no monster. Still, she’d be happy to get rid of it, and the Diplomat belt was an attractive consolation prize. If she grafted Hounder into it, she’d be ahead of the technology curve for once. “I’m going to want all the details when I get back, but for now, yeah, sure, you got a deal.”
    After Zoranna ended the call, Bug said, “Name the members of your immediate family and state their relationship to you.”
    The car began to decelerate, and Zoranna instinctively checked the buckle of her harness. “My family is deceased, except for Nancy.”
    With a hard bump, the car