Deathstalker 04 - Deathstalker Honor

part of me. She still is, deep down. I’ve just… moved on. When the Mater Mundi worked her will through me, I thought I was her avatar, her focus, her saint on earth. But she abandoned me, took away the grace and the glory, and left me to live the rest of my days as a lesser being, no longer touched by Heaven. Left me alone, just like you did, on Unseeli.” “It wasn’t like that,” said Silence.
    “Yes, it was,” said Diana. “It was just like that.” She looked at Carrion. “I heard the Ashrai sing on Unseeli. Joined my voice with theirs. They gave me a glimpse of Heaven and then went away. Better to be blind forever than to see the colors of the rainbow for only a few moments, before being thrown back into the dark again. I’ve been betrayed so many times; all I trust now is me. Whoever that is. I’m glad your planet is dead, Carrion. I’m glad the forests are gone. I just wish you and the Ashrai had disappeared with them. Stay away from me. You too, Father. Because I’ll kill you if you hurt me again.”
    Silence tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come, and in the end he just bowed to her and left, Carrion at his side. Diana watched them go, and for a moment something of her old malevolent persona crackled about her like a halo of flies.
    After that everything else was pretty much an anticlimax, and Parliament soon broke up. Owen and Hazel, Jack and Ruby left through a side entrance to avoid the media and the crowds. They didn’t feel like talking to strangers. There was a tavern nearby, not much more than a hole in the wall, but the booze was drinkable and privacy came guaranteed. The four of them sat around a stained and scarred tabletop, nursed their drinks, and wondered what to say to each other. They’d come a long way from the simple band of heroes Owen had put together back on Mistworld.
    “Been a long time since we last sat down together,” said Jack Random finally.
    “But then, we’ve all been busy, I suppose.”
    “Not really that surprising,” said Hazel. “I mean, all we ever really had in common was the rebellion.”
    “There’s still friendship,” said Owen. “There’s always friendship.” “Of course,” said Jack, perhaps just a little too heartily. “You can’t go through everything we did without becoming… close. But I know what Hazel means. The rebellion gave us a shared purpose, something to base our lives around. With that gone, we’ve had to reinvent ourselves, and we’re not the people we used to be anymore.”
    “Right,” said Ruby. “How the hell did we get here from there? I don’t know what I expected to happen if we ever actually won, but this sure as hell isn’t it. I miss… the sense of direction I used to have.”
    “The certainties,” said Jack. “I used to know who I was. I was the professional rebel. I fought the System, any System. And now I’m part of it.” “We used to be outlaws,” said Hazel. “With a price on our heads and everyone queuing up to take a shot at us. I sure as hell don’t miss that.” “But we can’t go back to who we were,” said Owen. “To the people we were before all this started. We had to become other people, just to survive.” “Wouldn’t go back if I could,” said Hazel. “Hated it.” “Right,” said Jack.
    “Roots are overrated. We’re like sharks; we have to keep moving or die. And sometimes that means moving on.” “But we have to stay in touch,” said Owen. “Who else can we talk to? Who else could hope to understand the things we’ve been through? The Maze changed us on many levels, and I’m not convinced the changes are over yet.” “Don’t start that again,” said Ruby impatiently. “It’s over, Owen, let it go. I won’t live in the past. Sit in shitholes like this every evening, talking old battles and victories, and arguing over who did what like old pensioned-off soldiers, with nothing left to do but relive the days
    when their lives had purpose and meaning. My life isn’t over yet. I’m damned if it is.” “Right,” said Jack.
    “That’s why I volunteered us for the Shub mission.”
    “Yes, well,” said Ruby, “I’m not sure that’s entirely what I had in mind.” “Oh, come on,” said Jack.
    “Where’s your spirit of adventure? You said you wanted some action. So, tomorrow we make our start.”
    “So soon?” said Owen. “Hazel and I only just got back. We’ve hardly had any time together.”
    “Maybe it’s for the best,”