Demon Moon

sacrifice myself saving someone’s soul from a demon and turn into a Guardian, but Michael said no to that, too. Because of the taint. But that’s okay, because I really don’t want to be shot or stabbed or jump off a bridge or whatever it takes to sacrifice oneself. And I probably wouldn’t have been a very good Guardian, anyway. In some ways, I’m too much like Hugh. I enjoy having free will. Though if I was a Guardian, we could…”
    She didn’t finish, but he could have if the tightness of his throat had allowed speech. As a Guardian, she could have fed him without having to feed from him. She would have been immortal and, even serving the Guardian corps, would have been able to make a life with him. As Selah and her vampire partner had together.
    Swallowing, Savi began moving her fingertips across his chest, down over his stomach. “Anyway, your heating bill wasn’t the condition I had in mind.”
    “Anything you want, sweet, and it’s yours,” he said, his voice rough. Anything but fidelity and immortality; devastating, that the two things she wanted most he could not offer. Yet it was more important than ever before not to give her false hope; he would not dangle anything in front of her only to take it away. But the first—there must be a way, even if he had to cut off his cock each night he fed from anyone other than Savi.
    It would grow back. And after fifty or sixty years…he would live every single bloody day for her.
    “You don’t need more than a drop or two to come, right? You aren’t going to feed from me tonight, just take enough for that.”
    “Yes.”
    “I don’t want you to send me the…the…whatever you send them.” When he stiffened, she raised her head and explained, “I have a feeling that I won’t be too coherent if you’re doing that to me.”
    Relaxing slightly, he tapped his forefinger against her mouth. “You won’t be all that coherent, regardless.”
    She pressed her lips together, then buried her face against his neck, began laughing. After a few moments, she wiped her eyes and said, “I want to see you come. I watched you in Polidori’s.” She sighed sweetly in memory, her gaze on his lips. “It was beautiful. I want to be here for it.”
    His heart ached with need, as if it wanted to leap from his chest and enfold her within it. She would kill him before the month was out. “The bite is painful, Savi. The pleasure takes that away.”
    “It’s not that bad.” She waggled her eyebrows, probably to divert him away from recollection of how she knew that. “And I like a little pain. We’ll do the rest when you feed from me tomorrow.”
    Her lashes fell, her smile widened, and a terrible certainty rose up in him. No, it hadn’t been the bite in Caelum that had hurt her, but what had followed. She’d not have forgot it.
    Was that why she postponed it? Curious, impetuous Savitri—stalling rather than discovering how good it could be.
    He dreaded her answer, but he forced the question: “Are you frightened? Do you think it will be like Caelum?”
    “Yes,” she admitted softly, and Colin was quite certain Hell had descended on him. “But not for the reason you think.”
    He couldn’t respond. What other reason could there be?
    “It’s because of Caelum, but not what you did to me. Just…Caelum itself. Or leaving it.” Savi paused, and turned, propping her chin on the roll of her fist. Her brows arched. “Have you seen the Taj Mahal?”
    He blinked. “Yes.”
    “I spent a week in Agra when I was in India last time. I was there on a perfect, incredible day.” Her gaze unfocused. “A cerulean sky, the stone blindingly white. And the symmetry of it, the design…anyway, I’ve always thought even if someone didn’t typically like Mughal architecture, the dome, they’d have to agree that it’s one of the most beautiful sites in the world. Maybe the most beautiful. When were you there?”
    “Nineteen hundred and three. I toured the colonies after Emily and Ramsdell…after I left England, and before settling here.” He lightly pinched her bottom when her eyes widened. “Savitri, I’ll tell you of my travels another time.”
    She pressed her lips together and nodded. After a moment, she said, “It wasn’t the same. I’ve seen the Taj before—and when I saw it again, it wasn’t the same. There was wonder, and awe, but nothing like before. All I could think when I stood there was that I’d had something better, a million times better,