Devils & Blue Dresses: My Wild Ride as a Rock and Roll Legend

democratic strut. The second language for most city dwelling Western Germans is English, because they––as I would in the same circumstance––follow the smell of success. In East Germany the second language offered was Russian, but more people learned English on the sly than all who took Russian in school.
    Materially, the West eventually became the second strongest economy in the free world and the first participant of the war, including all of the Allies, to pay off it’s war debt. You gotta admire that kind of shit. Beyond their desire to succeed is the question of national identity and pride, and that is a question that runs deep. I’m sure the first thought, once they had reached a competitive economic level against America, was to sit back and say, “I think we can beat them at their own game.” But the danger in a coup against American culture is the decadent and violent nature of the beast. Economic considerations aside, one of the fuels that drives the American machine is its ability to adapt to all its divergent cultural differences, and turn them into commercial entities. What I keep hoping for is a Germany that will cherry pick the best parts of the American experience and leave the crap alone.

     
    Sadly, Kimberly’s mother had been killed on February 26th, the same date as my birthday. I credit my previous drug use for my inability to recall the year. All I know is that every year after that when my birthday came, there were no Billy birthday celebrations from Kim, only the missing of her mother, the loneliness and pain. Things had become very grim around the house. But none of that could tear me away from the woman who had given her life to me, except for one thing.
    One night I was awakened by a terrible headache and a pulsating pressure on the right side of my forehead. As I became conscious, I turned my eyes to the right anddiscovered Kimberly holding a loaded handgun to my head with her finger on the trigger. Her speech was slurred and her movement dangerously chaotic as I tried my best to talk her out of her intentions.
    My twenty-one year marriage with Kim finally hit rock bottom and I went to see an attorney about a divorce. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. Kim retained one of the best divorce lawyers in the state and I couldn’t reconcile my guilt over a twenty-one year relationship with so many shared scars and triumphs.
    What I have stated here is so mild compared to the real nature of my divorce and marriage to Kim. My attorney said that in his thirty some odd years of divorce law that he never had a judge seal the contents of the allegations and proceedings––until now.
    I promised the court way more than I could afford. My attorney knew it, and I knew it. But so great was my guilt and shame that I gave Kim practically everything. It broke me. It took two years from the time I filed until the divorce was final. Kim eventually married a man some nineteen years younger than she was and after a few years they, too, divorced. I don’t ever want to re-open that chapter of my life again.

Chapter 32
     
    M Y MUSICAL TRANSFORMATION TOOK A SIDE- step to accommodate the exit of John Badanjek, because he had found a better opportunity somewhere else. And that’s how it was with him. John came and went from my groups several times over the years, as dictated by outside opportunities. His exit was quickly followed by the departure of Robert Gillespie, who believed that Badanjek’s thinking concerning the futility of the band’s future warranted such an action.
    This was all a knee jerk reaction to the departure of Mark Gougeon, the bass player, who at the very last moment, after the tickets had been purchased, refused to go to Germany unless I gave him a raise. Tony Suhey, who had performed bass on “Nice N’ Easy” from the Vacation CD jumped on board. Ray Goodman replaced Gillespie and Danny McAleer, a drum tech who was introduced to me by Dave Lewis, the road manager who had replaced Marty Augosta, became the drummer. Joe Gutc remained on guitar. It was a short and semi-professional tour, but it became the nucleus of the next band, which included Joe Gutc and Ray Goodman on guitar, Danny McAleer on drums, Billy Cernits on keys, and Tony Suhey was replaced on bass by a recommendation from Dave Lewis named Barry George. Barry helped bring a guitar player named Bart Grimm into the band for a very short time. Billy Cernits left and was replaced by Leonard Moon on keys. It