Disintegration

killed one of your people, didn’t they? I heard someone say the bodies killed a man.”
    Webb took another swig of beer and looked out toward the horizon, avoiding eye contact.
    “That’s right,” he answered, not wanting to say anything else about Stokes’s death but feeling obliged to keep talking to cover his tracks. “I was with him when it happened, poor bastard.”
    “So is that why you’re here?”
    “Suppose. That and the germs.”
    “Germs?”
    “Couple of the girls got sick and died. We got away before anyone else got ill.”
    “Shit, I didn’t realize.”
    “And you’re telling me you’re bored?”
    Sean looked down at his feet, feeling suddenly foolish and naïve. He couldn’t deny his frustration, nor how the increasingly intense and relentless claustrophobia was getting to him. He’d risk putting his neck on the line just to get away for a while. Christ, what he’d have given to have seen some of the action Webb had described.
    “They sit around at night and play cards, for fuck’s sake,” he moaned. “I tell you, it’s like being on a day trip to the end of the world with your fucking grandparents!”
    “What about when you go out for supplies?”
    “You’re kidding, aren’t you? We don’t. They won’t .”
    “What d’you mean?”
    “What do you think I mean? You’ve already heard Martin—he goes mental if you even mention it.”
    “So how long’s it been since you last left here?”
    “I haven’t. Got here less than a week after it started and I haven’t been anywhere since. I’m going out of my fucking mind.”
    “So just go!”
    Sean didn’t say anything for a few moments. He drank more of his beer, got up, walked away, and then stopped and turned back to face Webb.
    “I can’t,” he reluctantly admitted.
    “Why? Scared of what the folks will say?”
    “No, it’s not that.”
    “I tell you, mate, the whole fucking world is out there for the taking. If all you’re gonna do is sit here and moan about it, you might as well roll over and end it right now.”

 
     
    29
     
    Eight o’clock. Pitch black outside. Everywhere silent. The entire group sat around tables in the restaurant and ate. Howard’s dog prowled up and down, sniffing the air hungrily and grabbing at whatever scraps happened to fall her way, but the amount of waste was negligible. Those who had been living in the hotel were starving, the meager rations they’d so far survived on were nothing compared to the relative riches the others had brought with them.
    “I never used to like tomatoes,” Ginnie said excitedly as she helped herself to another serving of lukewarm chopped, canned tomatoes, “but my God, this tastes good!”
    Caron and Hollis exchanged glances across the table. What had these people been eating? Caron asked the question.
    “Not much,” Howard replied, just visible in the candlelight at the other end of the table. “I reckon I’ve lost a couple of stone.” He lifted up his baggy sweater to reveal an equally baggy T-shirt. “Few more stones to go yet, mind,” he added, patting his wide belly.
    “I don’t understand why you haven’t just gone out for supplies,” Harte said. “There’s a town just down the road, you could have been there and back in a couple of hours. And you’ve got those trucks too. If you’d filled one of them you’d have had enough to last you weeks, months even.”
    “We just haven’t wanted to risk going out there,” Martin answered. “Okay, so we’ve gone hungry, but none of us are starving and we’ve been safe so far. I know what I’d rather have.”
    “I’d have risked it,” Sean said from a table a short distance away where he was sitting with Webb and Jas.
    “We all agreed, Sean,” Martin sighed. “There were only five of us here. We’d have been taking too much of a chance.”
    “ You all agreed,” he protested. “I don’t remember getting to have much of a say. You’d decided before I even knew you were having a discussion.”
    “It was for the best, Sean. Come on, son, everything’s worked out okay, hasn’t it?”
    Sean grunted and carried on eating. He found it a little easier to stay calm and not lose his temper now that he wasn’t so hungry. Christ, it was good to taste so many different flavors again. It was all tins and packaged convenience food, but it was more than he’d had in a long time. And beer! Although the lager made the cold night feel colder still, the numbing effect of the alcohol