Disintegration

was worth it.
    “There are more of us here now,” Amir said quietly. “Kind of changes things, doesn’t it?”
    “Does it?” Martin asked, thoughtfully chewing a mouthful of food.
    “Of course it does. Now there’s more than twice as many of us, maybe we could risk going out?”
    “We don’t need to. They’ve brought plenty of stuff with them.”
    “You think?” Jas interrupted. “We brought as much with us as we could, but it’s not going to last forever. Seems to me we’ve got no choice but to go out some point.”
    “You don’t understand. It’s not as easy as that.”
    “I do understand. I understand perfectly well. I understand that if we’re all going to stay here then we’re going to need a lot more food than we’ve got at present, and I also understand the bodies a lot better than you do too. We’ve dealt with thousands of them at a time.”
    “But it’s not as black and white as you’re making it sound,” Martin protested. “Our safety relies on them not knowing we’re here. If you go out there and start throwing your weight around, you’ll attract their attention and before you know it—”
    “I think we’re talking about one trip outside, two at the most. Surely that’s not going to have too much of an effect if you keep playing your music to them?”
    “They’re starting to work things out,” Hollis warned. “You can’t just assume that—”
    “There’s no need to go outside,” Martin repeated, his voice tense but still low. “We just need to show some self-control. A little discipline. Make the food that we’ve already got here last—”
    “One trip out and one busload of supplies will make all the difference.” Jas sighed wearily, already growing tired of the conversation. At the mention of his bus Driver stirred in the corner. Jas glanced across at him. Bloody waster was fast asleep with his paper over his face, backside on one chair, feet up on another. He’d barely even eaten anything.
    “Jas is right,” Harte agreed. “The risks are small but the potential rewards are huge. We could set ourselves up here for months.”
    “Oh, so we’re definitely staying, are we?” Lorna asked, disgruntled. She’d been following the conversation with disinterest. After spending the best part of two months trapped with most of these men she’d begun to find their relentless arguments and indecision incredibly tiring, and the men they’d found here seemed no better. Put more than two men in a room together and make a suggestion, she’d long ago discovered, and they’ll spend hours debating the most obvious points before finally deciding you were right all along and claiming they’d had the idea in the first place. She’d grown tired of the way they seemed to feel obliged to take charge then blunder their way through every situation trying to convince themselves, and everyone else, that they knew what they were doing. “Not that I have a problem with staying here,” she explained. “It just would have been nice to have been consulted, that’s all.”
    “No one’s decided anything,” Hollis said.
    “You see?” Sean interrupted angrily. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. They’re doing to her exactly what you do to me all the time. You think you always know what’s best and I can’t stand it.”
    “Keep the noise down, Sean,” Martin warned, cringing at the volume of his voice.
    “No one’s decided anything,” Hollis repeated.
    “I have,” Caron said quietly. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think I’ll be staying here.” The faces in the room all turned to look in her direction. “I don’t mind going without much food until those things outside have disappeared. I’d rather starve and be safe, and if we’re away from the bodies then there’s less chance of anyone else catching whatever it was that killed Ellie and Anita. We’ve got space here and I can have my own room with four strong walls and windows which aren’t smashed and—”
    “Ellie and Anita?” Ginnie asked.
    “They caught some kind of germ from the bodies,” Hollis explained dismissively.
    “All the more reason to stay inside,” Martin quickly interjected.
    “Are you sure it was from the bodies?” Ginnie wondered anxiously. “There’s no chance you could have brought it here with you? The last thing we need is—”
    “They caught it from the bodies,” Hollis said firmly. “They must have. And if there are fewer bodies here, then