Dot (Araminta Hall)

Dot in the back I’d have told her to get out and walk but I couldn’t turf a little girl out on a country lane. So I asked her how she could do that to you.’
    ‘And what did she say?’
    ‘Just more claptrap about being lonely. Then she started crying so I drove her home and when we got to hers she got out the car, got Dot and went inside. She didn’t even say bye.’
    Gerry’s whole body was pulsating with heat. He forced himself to look at Sandra and the situation was so ridiculous he almost laughed. The words he’d said sounded absurd: they laughed at him from where he’d spewed them on to their bed.
    ‘Are you telling me the truth?’
    ‘What the fuck? Why would I lie about that?’ The anger he felt at himself was easy to translate to Sandra.
    ‘Because you’ve always been a dog, Gerry, and Alice is a very beautiful woman.’
    He spluttered at this in what he thought was quite a convincing way. ‘Come on, San. I’d have to be mad to make a pass at her. She’s your best friend. Anyway, I love you; you’re pregnant with our baby. Give me some credit.’
    The air settled slightly over this and Gerry let himself look at his wife’s stomach; she would want to believe him, he had that on his side.
    ‘Alice would never do something like that.’
    He came and sat next to her, putting his arms round her shoulders, ready to deliver his best line, the one thought up with the help of the second cigarette. ‘You haven’t known her that long when you think about it, San. And she’s probably going a bit mad, what with Tony walking out like that.’
    Sandra nodded and he saw tears on her cheeks. ‘But still, she’s meant to be my friend. I really liked her.’
    Gerry pulled his wife into his chest. ‘I’m sorry. Maybe there’s more to Tony leaving than we know.’
    ‘What d’you mean?’
    ‘Well, it is pretty bizarre, to walk out on your wife and kid like that and not to even let them know where you are. Maybe there’s something about Alice that’s, I don’t know, strange or something.’ Which, when you thought about, was probably true, Gerry reasoned.
    Then Sandra had to be sick again and Gerry was able to hold her hair and stroke her back, before putting her back to bed. He went downstairs and did the washing up and put Mavis’s toys back in the box under the window. He drew the curtains and plumped a few cushions. Then he got himself a tinny from the fridge and sat on the sofa to watch Match of the Day . A tiny part of him felt like a massive shit, but most of him felt as though he’d won a small war.
    When Mavis came into their bedroom at six the next morning, soaked in her own wee, Gerry was able to get her cleaned and dressed and the sheets in the wash without waking Sandra. She’d only been sick once more in the night and she’d slept deeply so Gerry hoped she was on the mend. The day seemed fresh to him, as though they’d dealt with something and now they could focus on the things that mattered. As Gerry poured cereal out for Mavis he felt he’d learnt an important lesson, as if someone had stripped him to the bone and showed him what mattered. He was sure he wouldn’t let Sandra down again.
    She came downstairs a bit before nine, as Gerry and Mavis were reassembling a jigsaw for the fifth time on the sitting room floor, his daughter’s delight actually increasing with each repetition. He felt a surge of joy at the sight of his wife in her nightie and dressing gown, a bit of colour returned to her cheeks.
    ‘Hey, beautiful,’ he said, ‘you look better.’
    Sandra lingered in the doorway. ‘Could you keep her occupied for a minute longer? I’m going to make a phone call.’
    The bottom dropped out of Gerry. ‘Who to?’
    ‘You know who to.’ Her voice was scratchy, like a cat’s claws on the furniture.
    Gerry stood up at this and Mavis shouted, ‘Daddy. Come back.’
    ‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’ he tried.
    ‘I’m not going to leave it if that’s what you’re suggesting.’
    ‘Come on, love. I don’t want you upsetting yourself, not with the baby and everything.’
    ‘I’m not going to upset myself. I’m going to upset her.’
    ‘I don’t see what you’ll achieve.’
    ‘You sound like you don’t want me to speak to her.’
    Their eyes locked and Gerry knew he’d been stupid to underestimate his wife, that all he loved about her was bound up in this response. He let Mavis pull him back towards the floor and watched Sandra shut the door.