Down London Road

spoke to her this morning just before Nate got here. Thought it would be nice for her to catch up with Nate and Peetie.’
    ‘I thought you said it was a shock seeing her yesterday?’ I was trying to ignore the banging of my heart against my chest and I really hoped Cam couldn’t feel it.
    ‘It was. But it was a good shock. Bumping into Blair was just what I needed –’ Cam snorted at the screen. ‘What the hell is he going to do with that?’ His focus on the movie cut him off in midsentence. What did he mean, ‘Bumping into Blair was just what I needed’?
    And just like that I was back at square one.
    Now was the time to ask him outright how he felt – in plain English – about having Blair back in his life. What did it mean for us? How did he feel about Blair? Was he still in love with her?
    Oh, God. Was that what the happy, rough sex was all about?
    I felt my chest tighten and I couldn’t breathe.
    Was his good mood due to his conversation with Blair? Was he transferring possessive, lovey-dovey thoughts for her to me because I was here and willing?
    Or were my big, fat, illogical, psychotic insecurities rearing their ugly heads again and twisting everything around?
    ‘You okay?’ Cam asked softly, running his hand up and down my arm.
    Tell him! Ask him!
    But I was terrified. If I asked and he did still love Blair, Cam would feel compelled to tell me the truth and I would have to get up out of his arms and never return to them again.
    How pathetic that I could willingly sit with him in a lie just to feel his breath on my ear?
    ‘I’m fine,’ I whispered softly, snuggling against his chest. I closed my eyes. ‘Just tired.’
    His fingers brushed through my hair and I punched back at my insecurities.
The sex earlier, the cuddling now – that couldn’t be about anybody but me.
    Cam cares.
    He really cares.
    ‘Jo? I know when something’s wrong with you. Your whole body goes tense.’
    Dammit!
    I sighed and pulled back, leaning my hands on his chest as I looked up into his familiar and wonderful face. My stomach was suddenly a riot of butterflies. ‘I’m just wondering if I should be worried that the love of your life is suddenly back in it?’
    Cam’s eyebrows slammed together. He looked completely baffled by my question. ‘I never said she was the loveof my life. I said we used to be in love.
Used
to be. We’re both different people now. Well, I am at least.’ He traced my lip with his thumb, his eyes following the movement before finding their way into mine. ‘You’ve got nothing to be worried about. I told you that. You believe me, right?’ His hand slid to the nape of my neck, his strong grip bringing my face even closer to his. ‘You trust me?’
    When Cam gazed at me like that, with such intensity and sincerity, it was hard to reply with anything but a quiet affirmation: ‘I trust you.’



26
    As though Cam sensed that I needed a little reassurance, he texted me more than usual over the next few days despite how busy he was. We were both busy. To the delight of both me and Cole, Uncle Mick and Olivia had decided to stay in Edinburgh indefinitely. I spent time helping them search for flats online and sending them links to decent ones during my quieter periods at work, since Uncle Mick was preoccupied with looking into setting up a painting and decorating business in Edinburgh. I’d put him in touch with Braden as a start for building a profile and contacts, but Mick also had a lot of stuff to figure out financially, and Olivia and I were happy to let him get on with that while we searched for flats. I was a little surprised when Olivia informed me that we were looking for two flats, but she insisted that she’d been relying on Uncle Mick too much lately and it was time she took back control of her life – starting with renting her own place.
    On top of that, I found myself playing referee with regard to Joss’s wedding plans. Ellie still hadn’t given up her hopes of turning Joss into a romantic, and Joss, in my effort to talk her out of homicidal thoughts, needed a reminder every now and then that she loved Ellie and would be greatly upset with herself if she ‘accidentally’ offed her maid of honour.
    So, a little overwhelmed that week and unable to seeCam as much as I would have liked, I thought it was nice of him to keep in contact with me so much during the day, and even lovelier of him to stop by on Wednesday to take me for a long lunch.
    I was seated behind the