Drake Sisters 06 - Turbulent Sea

and Joley remained. The two women said something to Logan; he hesitated and then left the suite as well. Silence followed. Tish looked at him, and he knew the moment Joley crossed to his side what she was going to say. The knots in his stomach hardened.
    'I'm sorry, Ilya, would you mind stepping out of the room, just for a few minutes? I promised Tish we could talk alone.'
    'I don't like it,' Ilya protested, uneasy with the idea of Joley out of his sight.
    She smiled at him, that dynamite smile that tugged on every heartstring and made his blood surge hotly. 'You can stand right outside the door, in fact stand in front of it with your gun out.'
    Ilya had a strong desire to throw her over his shoulder like a primitive caveman and carry her to his lair somewhere safe. Glancing over her head, he saw Tish's anxious face. She held the baby close to her, but her shoulders were stiff, her lips pressed together tightly. He nodded, took another glance around the room and stepped into the hall, leaving the door open behind him. He wasn't happy when Joley closed the door.
    'I wasn't certain we'd actually get a chance to be alone,' Joley said. 'Without the bus, I'm kind of stuck without a place of my own.'
    'Logan wants us to stay together and he wants me to legally adopt the baby with him.' The word came out in a rush, tumbling over one another. 'I can't do that and then turn around and lose both of them again. I can't, Joley.' Tish nuzzled her chin against the baby's head. 'I know you all think I'm really strong, but when I walked in on Logan and that woman, I felt shattered, utterly, absolutely shattered. I was so broken I didn't know if there was any way to ever put me back together again. I've loved him since high school. Maybe grammar school. I've never even looked at another man. His betrayal was so devastating, I came close to suicide.' Now her voice was a mere whisper and tears swam in her eyes. 'I'm ashamed of that, but it was so close, Joley.'
    'You should have called me,' Joley said, fear gripping her. 'We all love you, the entire band. It was horrible after you left and has been ever since. I would have helped you through it, so would all the guys.'
    'I couldn't call you. I couldn't see any of you. My emotions were all over the place. Part of me blamed all of you, because of the alcohol and drugs. My mother was ill and needed me at home, so I had to stop traveling with the band. I thought Logan would stay away from trouble, but…'
    The baby in her arms stirred a little and Tish shifted her to pat her back and keep her asleep. She glanced around for the diaper bag. T think I left her diaper bag in the dressing room. I need to check her in case she needs a change.'
    'I'm not making excuses,' Joley said, following her into the large dressing room, 'but it's hard on the road, you know that. It's lonely and isolating. Drinking is a way to be numb, and I would have considered it as an option myself more than once if my body chemistry was different. Logan always loved you, Tish. After you left, we thought we'd lose him.
    He went crazy, life didn't matter much to him. Drugs, drinking…'
    'Women,' Tish supplied bitterly, glancing over her shoulder at Joley as she snagged the bag. 'Believe me, I tried not to read the tabloids, but it was compulsive behavior.' Lissa squirmed, and Tish handed Joley the changing pad to put on the makeup table.
    Joley smoothed the pad and pulled diapers and wipes from inside the bag. 'That, too. That's how he got involved with Lucy. He stayed drunk. We finally did an intervention and told him he was out if he didn't pull his life back together. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you want to view it, Lucy was already pregnant. She'd tried twice to slice Logan up with bottles when she was angry with him, and then as soon as she found out about the baby, she threatened to cut it out of her stomach. We got the lawyers on it and went the legal route. She didn't want the baby, but she has problems with reality'
    'I feel sorry for her,' Tish said, kissing Lissa and putting her gently on the pad. 'I would give anything if Lissa was mine and Logan's child, yet she can't enjoy what she has because she's too ill.'
    'If she stays on her meds she does fairly well,' Joley said. 'She makes much more rational decisions when she's on them, but she just won't take them.'
    'If I stay any longer taking care of Lissa, I'll be lost,' Tish admitted as she took the little pink outfit off so she could