Dust of Dreams

starting to make me jumpy. I don’t bite.’
    Try the right nipple. Oh gods, shut up, woman.
‘Sorry.’
    ‘I was hoping your stay with the Malazan High Mage might have calmed you some.’
    ‘Oh, it has, sir. I mean, I’m better.’
    ‘No more fainting?’
    ‘No. Well, almost once.’
    ‘What happened?’
    ‘At day’s end, I made the mistake of being in his tent when he pulled off his boots.’
    ‘Ah.’ And then he shot her a startled look, his face lighting in a sudden smile. ‘Remind me to send you out before I do the same.’
    ‘Oh, sir, I’m sure you don’t—uh, that is, it’s not the same—’
    But he was laughing. She saw soldiers round campfires turn, looking over at the two of them. She saw a few mutter jests and there were grins and nods. Her face burned hot as coals.
    ‘Aranict, I assure you, after a day’s fast march as we’ve been experiencing since the landing, my socks could stun a horse. None of us are any different in such matters.’
    ‘Because you choose to march alongside your soldiers, Brys. When you could ride or even sit in one of the grand carriages, and no one would think ill of you—’
    ‘You would be wrong in that, Aranict. Oh, they might not seem any different, outwardly, saluting as smartly as ever and all the rest. Certain to follow every order I give, yes. But somewhere deep inside every one of them, there’s a stone of loyalty—when it comes to most of those giving them orders, that stone stays smooth and nothing sticks, it all washes off. And so it would be with me as well,were I to take any other path than the one they happen to be on. But, you see, there may come a time when I must demand of my soldiers something . . . impossible. If the stone was still smooth—if it did not have my name carved deep into it—I could lose them.’
    ‘Sir, they would never mutiny—’
    ‘Not as such. But in asking for the impossible, I would intend that they succeed in achieving it. The impossible is not the same as sending them to their deaths. That I would never do. But if I am to ask more of them than any commander has even the right to ask of his or her soldiers, then I must be with them, and be seen to be with them.
    ‘Tonight,’ he continued, ‘you must become my Atri-Ceda again for a time, and I your commander. When we speak with our soldiers. When we ask them how they fared on this day. When we endeavour to answer their questions and concerns, as best we can.’ He paused, his steps slowing. They were in a gap of relative darkness between two cookfires. ‘Especially on this night,’ he said, his tone low. ‘They are shaken—word’s come of the affliction striking the Malazan mages.’
    ‘Yes, Commander. I understand. In fact, High Mage Delat wondered, er, rather, he asked me. About you. Said that you may seem . . . different now . . . sir.’
    ‘And what will you tell him, when next you two meet?’
    ‘I—I am not sure, sir. I think so. Maybe . . .’
    ‘He is a clever man,’ Brys said. ‘This evening, Aranict, I felt as if . . . well, as if I had awakened, stepped out from a dark, cold place. A place I’d thought was the real world, the honest world—the coldness, I’d thought, was simply what I had never before noticed—before my death and resurrection, I mean. But I understand, now, that the cold and darkness were within me, death’s own touch upon my soul.’
    She stared at him, adoring, eyes bright. ‘And it is gone now, sir?’
    His returning smile was all the answer she needed.
    ‘Now, Atri-Ceda, let us speak with our soldiers.’
    ‘Carving the stone, sir.’
    ‘Just that.’
    No need to worry about mine. I am yours. That stone, it’s all melted, reshaped—Errant save me, it’s got your face now. Oh, and about that biting—
     
    As they stepped into the firelight, Brys chanced to glance across at his Atri-Ceda, and what he saw in her expression—quickly veiled but not quickly enough—almost took his breath away.
    Lascivious hunger, a half-smile upon her lips, a fancy snared in the reflecting flames in her eyes. For an instant, he was at a loss for words, and could only smile his greeting as the soldiers turned and voiced their heartfelt welcome.
    Aranict. I truly was half-dead inside, to have so thoroughly missed what is now so obvious. The question now is, what am I to do about it? About you?
    That look, there was a darkness upon it—not cold as I found in myself—buthot as a burning ember. Is it any wonder