Elemental Assassin 05 - Spider's Revenge

a previous lover.
    Owen was far more important to me than he realized—so important that it frightened me a little bit. Okay, a whole hell of a lot. Enough to make me want to keep him at arm’s length, even though I knew it was too late for that. Too many people that I’d loved over the years had been murdered for me to easily open up my heart to others. My mother, my older sister, Fletcher. All dead and gone before their time—all because of me and my mistakes.
    Somehow, Owen had stormed his way into my heart whether I’d wanted him there or not, and now I’d do anything to keep him safe—even sacrifice myself like I almost had last night on my self-imposed quest.
    “I don’t see why you care so much anyway,” I muttered in a harsher, colder voice than I would have liked. “It was my ass on the line last night, not yours. I made sure of that.”
    Owen’s eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, and his arms tightened across his chest. “Why? Why do I care so much, Gin? Because I—”
    He bit off his words, but they hung in the air between us like a ghost, writhing and twisting, just like my heart was right now.
    Because I love you
. That’s what he’d been about to say. The shock of his almost uttering the words drove the air from my lungs. Owen—loved me? Really? Truly? I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t know what to make of anything anymore—especially not the softness for him that had wormed its way down into the deepest, darkest,blackest part of my heart. Into my very
soul
, even. If I hadn’t killed it long ago by being the Spider.
    Owen looked away and drew in a breath. “Because I care about you, Gin. That’s why. I don’t want you going off on a suicide mission to try to kill Mab. I’d rather have you alive any day than her dead, even if she did murder your family and my parents.”
    I wasn’t Mab’s only victim. Far from it. Part of the reason Owen understood my obsession with killing the Fire elemental was that she’d murdered his parents when he’d been a teenager. Mab had burned Owen’s house to the ground because of a gambling debt that his father owed, killing his parents in the process, and leaving him homeless and to fend for himself and his sister, Eva, who’d been little more than a baby then.
    “Better me go by myself than drag the rest of you down with me,” I pointed out in a quiet voice. “And you know that’s what would have happened. Mab is too well protected at her estate for a full-frontal assault. You and Finn both know that. So do Jo-Jo, Sophia, and even Bria. I had to go in by myself. That was the only way I could even get close enough to Mab to take my shot.”
    I closed my eyes. The anger, melancholy, and frustration welled up in my chest again, until they coated my mouth and throat like bitter, burning acid. “Too bad I blew it and missed.”
    “I know,” Owen said in a gentler tone. “Finn called me this morning. Seems that his phone started ringing last night and hasn’t stopped since. All his contacts are buzzing with the news. He was a little upset about it himself. Said he’d catch up with you at the Pork Pit later today.”
    I groaned. “What Finn really means is that he’ll lambaste me six ways from Sunday while he eats a free lunch at the counter.”
    Some of the anger softened in Owen’s violet eyes, and a sly grin lifted up his lips. “Something like that, I imagine.”
    I groaned again and returned Owen’s smile. More of the anger melted out of his gaze, and the tension between us lightened, like a dark cloud being blown away by a stiff gust of wind. For now, anyway.
    “I’m sorry,” I said. “You know I’m a little irrational where Mab’s concerned. I saw an opportunity to take her out, and I couldn’t pass it up.”
    “I know, Gin,” Owen said. “I know.”
    He got up from his rocking chair and came over to the bed. He sat down and opened his arms to me, and I scooted into his embrace. The warmth from his body mixed with my own, and I breathed in, enjoying his rich, earthy scent, which always made me think of metal, if metal could ever have any real smell.
    “I hate that she’s after you,” Owen murmured, his lips against my hair. “But what I hate more is that you went after her alone. That no one was backing you up. Promise me you won’t do that again. Okay, Gin? Promise me that the next time you go after Mab, you’ll take someone with you. Me, Finn, Sophia. Someone, anyone, to help you.”
    I could have