Emma's Secret: A Novel

before yanking the sliding door open and heading outside.
    Megan watched her retrieve the bathing suit by the tips of her fingers and fling it side to side. Alexis hated bugs. Megan checked her watch again before turning her attention to the sideshow outside. The child was being thorough, at least, in how she was shaking that tiny piece of clothing.
    “If you really loved me, you would have brought mine in, too, instead of leaving it outside,” Alexis muttered when she came back inside.
    Megan cocked her head to the side. “Excuse me?”
    Her daughter stood stoic; arms crossed and lips in a tight line.
    “I do love you, Alexis. It’s why I told you to bring your suit inside last night. It’s not my fault if you didn’t.” Everything inside Megan screamed. What was she supposed to do? She was blamed for coddling one child and being too hard on the other. No matter what she did, she couldn’t win. It was as if Alexis expected—
    “I bet you brought in Emma’s.” She stared defiantly into Megan’s eyes.
    And there it was. It always came back to Emma. She’d noticed Alexis tore up the stairs after Peter told Emma she could go with him to get coffee.
    “Why would I do that?”
    Alexis’s nostrils flared. “All you care about is Emma. No one else.”
    Megan lifted her hands up in exasperation. “Are you kidding me?” Her voice rose an octave as she stared down her daughter. How could she think that?
    Kathy had warned her that Alex might lash out like this. Megan had thought she was prepared, but some days she wasn’t sure how to handle this—be a mother to three different children and meet all their needs. She felt like she was failing them all.
    “You know Alex, I can’t seem to win with you. What do you expect of me?”
    “Love me like you love
her
.”
    Megan’s mouth dropped. Had she failed her daughter so much that she thought she wasn’t loved?
    “I do love you,” Megan whispered.
    Alexis snorted. “Actions speak louder than words, Mom. Isn’t that what you keep telling us?”
    “I…Alexis…” Megan wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “What can I do to show you I love you?” It hurt more than she thought it would to know she wasn’t meeting Alexis’s needs. She’d tried so hard, made more of a conscious effort ever since that note came home from Alexis’s teacher before Emma’s return. What else could she do?
    “It’s the little things, Mom. Like bringing my bathing suit in.” Defiant, Alexis stood her ground. She reminded Megan so much of herself.
    “Both Emma and Hannah brought in their own suits last night when I asked them to. You were the one who promised you would do it after your show was over.” Megan reminded her.
    “Oh.” Alexis’s shoulders deflated.
    Megan crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her daughter’s rigid body. “I do love you, Alexis. No more and no less than your sisters.” She pressed her lips against her daughter’s hair and waited for a response, but Alexis refused to bend. With a sigh, Megan let go and stepped away. “Go on up and get ready. Then you can help me pack a picnic lunch if you want.” She gently pushed Alexis toward the hallway. “Now, where is your father?” Megan mumbled to herself.
    “Right here.”
    Megan turned and found both Peter and Emma standing in the front doorway. Emma’s mouth was smeared with chocolate icing, and she held a box of donuts in her hands.
    Megan took the proffered coffee Peter held out and waited for Emma to leave the room. “How long have you been standing there?”
    “Long enough.”
    “And you didn’t step in to help me?” She turned her back, placed the coffee on the counter, and leaned down. An overwhelming sense of exhaustion filled her. She could go back to bed and sleep for hours if she could.
    “What did you expect me to do, Meg?” Peter came up and stood behind her.
    She turned. “Oh, I don’t know. Support me, maybe? She’s so angry with me, and I don’t know how to reach her anymore.”
    “Have you tried listening?”
    Megan’s eyes widened as she stared at him in dismay. Not him too?
    “Yes, I listened to her. Sure, I could have brought her swimsuit in last night, but to be honest, I didn’t think to check that she’d kept her promise to me. So what? How does that turn into me not loving her?”
    Peter shrugged. “Why don’t you take her out on a mother-daughter date like you used to? You haven’t done that with any of the girls since Emma came