Enders In Exile

Definitely not a governor. But I was admiral, I was in
command, it was my duty, and I did it."
    "I'm not as dutiful as
you."
    "I'm not talking about
you now, dammit, you'll do whatever you want. I'm talking about me. I'm
telling you what to say at my damn funeral!"
    "Oh."
    "I didn't want to be
governor. I fully expected to die in the war, but the truth is, I no
more thought about the future than you did. We were coming to this
place, we were trained to be ready to survive on this formic colony
world, but I thought that would all be
your
job,
you and the other techs, while I commanded the fighting, the struggle
against the hordes of formics coming over the hill,
burrowing up underneath us—you have no idea the nightmares I
had about the occupation, the clearing, the holding. I was afraid there
wouldn't be enough bullets in the world. I thought we'd die."
    "Then Ender Wiggin
disappointed you."
    "Yes. Selfish little
brat. I'm a soldier, and he took my war out from under me."
    "And you loved him for
it."
    "I did my duty, Sel. I
did my duty."
    "So have I," said Sel.
"But I won't do yours."
    "You will when I'm
gone."
    "You won't be alive to
see."
    "I have hopes of an
afterlife," said Vitaly. "I'm not a scientist, I'm allowed to say so."
    "Most scientists
believe in God," said Sel. "Certainly most of us here."
    "But you don't believe
I'll be alive to see what you're doing."
    "I'd like to think that
God has better things for you to do. Besides, the heaven around here is
a formic heaven. I hope God will let whatever part of you lives on go
back to the heaven where all the humans are."
    "Or the hell," said
Vitaly.
    "I forgot what
pessimists you Russians are."
    "It's not pessimism. I
just want to be where all my friends are. Where my father is, the old
bastard."
    "You didn't like him?
But you want to be with him?"
    "I want to beat up the
old drunkard! Then we'll go fishing."
    "So it won't be heaven
for the fish."
    "It'll be hell for
everybody. But with good moments."
    "Just like our lives
right now," said Sel.
    Vitaly laughed.
"Soldiers shouldn't do theology."
    "Xenobiologists
shouldn't do government."
    "Thank you for making
my deathbed so full of uncertainty."
    "Anything to keep you
entertained. And now, if you don't mind, I have to feed the pigs."
    Sel left and Vitaly lay
there, wondering if he should get out of bed and just send the message
himself.
    No, his decision was
right. He didn't want to have any sort of conversation with Ender. Let
him get the letter when it's too late to answer it, that was the plan
and it was a good one. He's a smart kid, a good boy. He'll do what he
needs to do. I don't want him asking my advice because he doesn't need
it and he might follow it.

CHAPTER
13

    To: GovDes%[email protected]/voy
From: GovAct%[email protected]
Re: You will get this when I'm dead
    Dear Ender,
    I put it bluntly in the
subject line. No beating around the bush. I'm writing this as I feel
the seeds of death in me. I will arrange for it to be sent after they
have done with me.
    I expect my successor
to be Sel Menach. He doesn't want the job, but he is widely liked and
universally trusted, which is vital. He will not try to cling to his
office when you arrive. But if it is not him, you'll be on your own and
I wish you luck.
    You know how hard it
will be for my little community. For thirty-six years, we've been
living and giving in marriage. The new generation has already restored
the gender balance; there are grandchildren nearly of marrying age.
Then your ship will come and suddenly we will be five times the
population, and only one in five will be of our original group. It will
be hard. It will change everything. But I believe
that I know you now, and if I'm right, then my people have nothing to
fear. You will help the new colonists adapt to our ways, wherever our
ways make sense for this place. You will help my people adapt to the
new colonists, wherever they must because the ways of Earth make sense.
    In a way, Ender, we are
the same age, or at least in the same stage of life. We long since left
our families behind. As far as the world is concerned, we stepped into
an open grave and disappeared. This has
been
the
afterlife for me, the career after my career ended, the life after my
life ended. And it has been a good one. It has been heaven. Busy,
frightening, triumphant, and finally peaceful. May it be the same for
you, my friend. However long it is, may you be glad of each day of it.
    I have never