Existence 01 - Existence

table all alone,” Dank said quietly into the night. A flicker of guilt deep in my stomach wasn’t enough to send me back inside. I shrugged again and didn’t meet his probing gaze. He chuckled and the low, sexy sound sent a shiver through me. “So, have you decided to try the ignoring me thing again, to see if I go away?” he asked with a touch of humor in his voice.
    I bit my lip to keep from smiling and shook my head no. “I know that doesn’t work with you.”
    “Why are you out here, Pagan? What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. I reluctantly glanced up at him. He was so incredibly beautiful standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest. The dark hair that curled at the ends seemed to dance in the breeze.
    “Nothing that concerns you,” I lied. He tilted his head to one side and flashed me a wicked grin.
    “Really?”
    I nodded. “Really.”
    His hands fell to his sides as he stepped away from the wall and took a step toward me. “Seeing me dance with Kendra doesn’t bother you?” he asked in a husky whisper. I shook my head and looked away from him, refusing to step back from his nearness. His eyes bore down on me so intensely it was as if he were actually touching me. My heart started beating hard against my ribs and I looked at him. His eyes flickered from my dress back to my face. “I knew pale pink would suit you. Most girls can’t pull it off but on you it’s perfect.”
    I swallowed, afraid my heart was about to pound right out of my chest. I didn’t want to think about the way his gaze made every cell in my body come alive.
    “You think I don’t want to touch you the way I touch Kendra. You’re right.” His words washed over me like ice water and I stepped back away from him as if he’d just slapped me. My pounding heart constricted and I took a quick intake of air, afraid, for a moment, that I wouldn’t be able to breathe. His hand reached out, grabbed mine, and pulled me up against him. “When I touch Kendra I mentally cringe at having to continue to pull off the farce of being interested in her.”
    I stopped trying to pull my hand out of his and stared up at him. This sounded like something I wanted to hear.
    “When I can’t control my need for you and allow myself to touch you it ignites a monster inside of me that I’m afraid I’ll lose control over. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. Something happens,” he paused and lowered his gaze from my eyes to my lips, “when I’m near you like this.” He touched my lips with his fingertip and I trembled. He closed his eyes as if in pain. “And when you react the way you do, I feel the clawing inside me to take what I want.”
    He opened his eyes and stared at me with an intensity that would have frightened me had I not trusted him so completely. “You’re the one thing I want the most in the world yet the one thing I cannot have. Because to have you completely would be impossible. You can’t go where I walk.” He stopped and cradled my face in his hands. “The purpose of my existence is not to have a mate. It is lonely and cold. Until now it has been all I’ve known. Then you became the appointed and everything changed.” He dropped his hands from me and backed away as a pained desperation clouded his eyes. “Go, Pagan. Run, please, run. I am not what you think I am. I am not ‘intelligent, honest, talented, and compassionate’ although hearing you say those words in my defense felt like warm liquid pouring through my cold veins. You want to know what I am and I can’t tell you. If you knew, I wouldn’t have to beg you to run.”
    He snarled and turned away from me, stalking off toward the darkness. I couldn’t let him go. I ran after him and he turned abruptly. His angry glare stunned me and I froze. The anger seemed to leave him immediately and a tortured expression came over his perfectly-chiseled features. I gasped at the transformation.
    “I don’t care what you are,” I said, taking a step toward him. “You can’t scare me off and I’m not running away. What is it the song you sing to me says? ‘Yet you stay. Holding on to me, yet you stay, reaching out a hand that I push away. The cold is not meant for you yet you stay, you stay, you stay. When I know it’s not right for you’ ." I repeated his words to him in the darkness. His face contorted in pain.
    “Go, Pagan. Now. I can’t control myself much longer,” he whispered into the darkness.
    I took another step toward