Existence 01 - Existence

started to speak and an image of my mom’s tear-filled eyes when she’d come to visit yesterday came back to me. She missed me and was worried about me. I was hurting her, or rather the sickness she thought I had was hurting her. If I admitted to seeing souls they would indeed label me crazy. I would be diagnosed with a whole new problem and my mother would be consumed with worry. I would just try to get one more night. One more chance to hear Dank and this time I’d fight the heavy sleep that always kept me from seeing him. I would find a way to speak to him.
    “The car accident bothered me and I did withdraw into myself because I didn’t like thinking about what I’d witnessed. I agreed to come here to make my mom feel better. I was scaring her with the way I’d become reclusive.
    My stay here has been eye opening and I will always cherish it. The girls here are just like me but they have mental sicknesses that make living a normal life difficult. They’re still people. They still have feelings and want to be accepted. I’ve enjoyed getting to know all of them. You’re right, I don’t have the mental sicknesses the other patients do, but being around them has helped me learn to accept what I witnessed.”
    Doctor Janice smiled. “Well, that continues to confirm my diagnosis. You’re completely mentally sane and very mature for your age. Would you like to call your mother and tell her you’re free to go home?” This was my moment to ask for one more night. I needed to say goodbye. I needed to open my eyes tonight and see him. I couldn’t leave until I’d seen him.
    “Doctor Janice, would it be a problem if I stayed tonight and left first thing in the morning? I would like to have dinner with my new friends and properly say farewell to everyone.”
    Doctor Janice gave me a slow, pleased smiled and nodded. “I think that would be perfect.”
    I glanced at the phone on her desk. “Can I go ahead and call my mom, then, and let her know I’ll be free to go in the morning?” I thought of how the news I could come home in the morning was going to bring back a smile to her face. Knowing she would be relieved eased the ache some, but not enough.
    * * * *
    I carried my tray of food over to sit across from Gee and Jess. Gee tilted her head from side to side like she so often did when she was thinking about something, and flicked her tongue ring against her teeth several times.
    “You’re leaving, aren’t you, Peggy Ann?” I smiled at her and nodded. She sighed dramatically. “Figures they’d send you home since you have no mental cracks. I mean, you don’t even scream at night. Then, of course, he sings to you. Kind of impresses me really. He’d scare the shit out of me if he came in my room. You may not be a screw ball but the fact you’re not scared of him makes you someone I don’t want to piss off.”
    I froze, listening to her words. She knew Dank came to me at night and sang to me. How did she know? Did she see him? Did she see souls? Was that my problem? Was I Schizo? She cackled her mad laughter and winked at me.
    “You’re thinking you might just be whack after all, aren’t you, Peggy Ann? You wish you were this fucked up. No dice though, girlie. No fuckin’ dice,” she whispered leaning toward me so the nurses wouldn’t hear her cursing and take away anymore of her privileges.
    “What’re you carrying on about? Did you take your meds today, Gee, ‘cause you’re talking off your head worse than normal,” Jess said, frowning before shoveling black eyed peas into her mouth. Gee didn’t take her eyes off me. She almost had a glimmer in her eyes as she watched me, enjoying the confusion I knew was clear on my face.
    “Only the ones he has come for can see him, Peggy Ann. You know that right? Only the ones whose time is near. I know why he’s here.” She tilted her head side to side and stared at me closely. “But he doesn’t sing to me. No, he doesn’t sing to me.”
    Jess sighed loudly and glared at Gee. “If you don’t shut up talking like a psychopath I’m calling Nurse Karen over here to drug your ass,” she grumbled.
    “Who is he?” I asked Gee quietly, afraid she truly didn’t know.
    A sad smile touched her red lips and she shook her head. “Ah, so he isn’t coming for you then. So very odd. You see him and he is with you so much yet he hasn’t come for you. He is the only one who can tell you.” Gee stood up, leaving her tray untouched on the table, and