Existence 01 - Existence

walked away.
    Jess stared at me and shook her head sadly. “She’s hiding her meds under her tongue again and spitting them out in the toilet. I’m going to have to tell someone before she gets any crazier. I’m guessing if she goes too long without her meds she could do something fatal.” Jess took a bite of meatloaf, stood up, and went over to Nurse Ashley.
    Tonight I was resolved to ask him again but the fear that it would drive him away scared me more than the words from my psychotic friend.
    * * * *
    I packed the last pair of jeans into my suitcase and zipped it up. The drawers were empty and the closet no longer held any of my things. I walked over to the small, round table and took the cards Leif and Miranda had sent me. Reading them each morning had given me a reason to smile. I slipped them into the pocket of my overnight bag and sat down on my bed. I had been given permission to come to my room as early as I wanted. The rules of seclusion no longer applied to me and I’d needed to pack. The small room wasn’t much bigger than my mom’s walk-in closet but it was going to be hard to walk away from in the morning. Just like at home, this bedroom had held Dank. It would hold the memories of him.
    Nurse Ashley was walking the halls, ringing her bell for the lights out announcement. I stood up and pulled back the covers on my bed and slipped inside before reaching over and turning out the lamp. Tonight he would come and I would talk to him. I wouldn’t have to worry he would leave me and not return because I was leaving in the morning. I wanted to know why Gee knew who he was or if she thought he was someone else. Was he the same ‘he’ the little redheaded girl at the hospital had spoken of? The ‘he’ she had said was coming to take her soon.
    Dank had been the one to take the couple from the car fire at their death. Is that what he did? Was he the soul who went and retrieved other souls when they died? I closed my eyes and waited. I thought of the different things I’d seen and what Gee and the little girl had said. It all pointed to Dank being a guardian of some kind. Maybe an angel. I turned back and forth, waiting for the music. Waiting for Dank to come and sing to me.
    He never came.
    The morning sun cast a glow across the pale yellow room as I stood with my bags, glancing around to see if I’d missed anything. I was leaving without answers. My thoughts went back to Gee. I slipped my overnight bag up higher on my shoulder and headed downstairs to find her. I wanted to talk to her one last time before I left. To tell her goodbye and to ask her once more if she could explain to me who it was she thought she heard in my room. The Great Room was empty and the sounds of chatter drifted from the dining hall, where everyone was eating breakfast. Gee would be there. I sat my bags down beside the door and went to say my final goodbyes.
    The moment I walked into the busy dining room I glanced over to the far table. Jess sat alone at the end, staring down at her plate as she shoveled food into her mouth. I glanced back at the serving line and the nurses had finished serving the patients. Everyone was sitting down at their tables to eat. Nurse Karen peered up and nodded toward me with a sad smile on her face. I walked over to Jess and sat down across from her.
    “She’s gone,” Jess said as she shoveled another bite of cheese grits into her mouth.
    “Gee’s gone? What do you mean?” I asked, confused. I had just seen her before I’d gone up to bed last night, sitting with a group of other girls playing a card game.
    Jess lifted her gaze up at me and frowned. “She went whack on them this morning about four. Started screaming and cursing and they had to sedate her. She’s getting worse and Doctor Janice won’t keep the ones that get so disturbed they become dangerous to themselves. She transfers them to the hospital where they can be kept on the looney floor under lock and key.” Jess shook her head and took a big gulp of chocolate milk. “I knew she’d be shipped off soon enough. The Schizos always are.”
    I felt a sick knot in my stomach. “Do you know what hospital she was sent to?”
    Jess shrugged. “No, ‘cause I ain’t crazy enough to get shipped there.”
    I stood up. “Well, okay. Um, it was really nice to get to know you, Jess.” Telling her I would see her later sounded strange because we both knew it wasn’t true. So I simply smiled and said, “Goodbye.” She nodded,