Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

dead, was it with love that they approached the jeep? Or fear? Or anger?” “I don't remember.” “Did they charge?” “I don't remember.” “Did they cry?” “Only humans can cry tears. Did you know that?” “It looks like the elephant in that photograph is crying.” I got extremely close to the picture, and it was true. “It was probably manipulated in Photoshop,” I said. “But just in case, can I take a picture of your picture?” She nodded and said, “Didn't I read somewhere that elephants are the only other animals that bury their dead?” “No,” I told her as I focused Grandpa's camera, “you didn't. They just gather the bones. Only humans bury their dead.” “Elephants couldn't believe in ghosts.” That made me crack up a little. “Well, most scientists wouldn't say so.” “What would you say?” “I'm just an amateur scientist.” “And what would you say?” I took the picture. “I'd say they were confused.”
    Then she started to cry tears.
    I thought, I'm the one who's supposed to be crying.
    “Don't cry,” I told her. “Why not?” she asked. “Because,” I told her. “Because what?” she asked. Since I didn't know why she was crying, I couldn't think of a reason. Was she crying about the elephants? Or something else I'd said? Or the desperate person in the other room? Or something that I didn't know about? I told her, “I bruise easily.” She said, “I'm sorry.” I told her, “I wrote a letter to that scientist who's making those elephant recordings. I asked if I could be her assistant. I told her I could make sure there were always blank tapes ready for recording, and I could boil all the water so it was safe to drink, or even just carry her equipment. Her assistant wrote back to tell me she already had an assistant, obviously, but maybe there would be a project in the future that we could work on together.” “That's great. Something to look forward to.” “Yeah.”
    Someone came to the door of the kitchen who I guessed was the man that had been calling from the other room. He just stuck his head in extremely quickly, said something I didn't understand, and walked away. Abby pretended to ignore it, but I didn't. “Who was that?” “My husband.” “Does he need something?” “I don't care.” “But he's your husband, and I think he needs something.” She cried more tears. I went over to her and I put my hand on her shoulder, like Dad used to do with me. I asked her what she was feeling, because that's what he would ask. “You must think this is very unusual,” she said. “I think a lot of things are very unusual,” I said. She asked, “How old are you?” I told her twelve—lie #59—because I wanted to be old enough for her to love me. “What's a twelve-year-old doing knocking on the doors of strangers?” “I'm trying to find a lock. How old are you?” “Forty-eight.” “Jose. You look much younger than that.” She cracked up through her crying and said, “Thanks.” “What's a forty-eight-year-old doing inviting strangers into her kitchen?” “I don't know.” “I'm being annoying,” I said. “You're not being annoying,” she said, but it's extremely hard to believe someone when they tell you that.
    I asked, “Are you sure you didn't know Thomas Schell?” She said, “I didn't know Thomas Schell,” but for some reason I still didn't believe her. “Maybe you know someone else with the first name Thomas? Or someone else with the last name Schell?” “No.” I kept thinking there was something she wasn't telling me. I showed her the little envelope again. “But this is your last name, right?” She looked at the writing, and I could see that she recognized something about it. Or I thought I could see it. But then she said, “I'm sorry. I don't think I can help you.” “And what about the key?” “What key?” I realized I hadn't even shown it to her yet. All of that talking—about dust, about elephants—and I hadn't gotten to the whole reason I was there.
    I pulled the key out from under my shirt and put it in her hand. Because the string was still around my neck, when she leaned in to look at the key, her face came incredibly close to my face. We were frozen there for a long time. It was like time was stopped. I thought about the falling body.
    “I'm sorry,” she said. “Why are you sorry?” “I'm sorry I don't know anything about the key.” Disappointment #3. “I'm sorry, too.”
    Our faces were so