Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

building or whatever.” “The building has been owned by a number of different people since I moved up here.” “What about the workers?” “The workers come and go. The new ones see I'm here and assume I'm supposed to be here.” “No one has told you to leave?” “Never.”
    “Why don't you go down?” Mr. Black asked. She said, “I'm more comfortable here.” “How could you be more comfortable here?” “It's hard to explain.” “How did it start?” “My husband was a door-to-door salesman.” “And?” “This was in the old days. He was always selling something or other. He loved the next thing that would change life. And he was always coming up with wonderful, crazy ideas. A bit like you,” she said to me, which gave me heavy boots, because why couldn't I remind people of me? “One day he found a spotlight in an army surplus store. This was right after the war and you could find just about anything. He hooked it up to a car battery and fixed all of that to the crate he rolled around. He told me to go up to the observation deck of the Empire State Building, and as he walked around New York, he'd occasionally shine the light up at me so I could see where he was.”
    “It worked?” “Not during the day it didn't. It had to get quite dark before I could see the light, but once I could, it was amazing. It was as if all of the lights in New York were turned off except for his. That was how clearly I could see it.” I asked her if she was exaggerating. She said, “I'm understating.” Mr. Black said, “Maybe you're telling it exactly as it was.”
    “I remember that first night. I came up here and everyone was looking all over, pointing at the things to see. There are so many spectacular things to see. But only I had something pointing back at me.” “Some one,” I said. “Yes, something that was someone. I felt like a queen. Isn't that funny? Isn't it silly?” I shook my head no. She said, “I felt just like a queen. When the light went off, I knew his day was over, and I'd go down and meet him at home. When he died, I came back up here. It's silly.” “No,” I said. “It isn't.” “I wasn't looking for him. I'm not a girl. But it gave me the same feeling that I'd had when it was daytime and I was looking for his light. I knew it was there, I just couldn't see it.” Mr. Black took a step toward her.
    “I couldn't bear to go home,” she said. I asked why not, even though I was afraid I was going to learn something I didn't want to know. She said, “Because I knew he wouldn't be there.” Mr. Black told her thank you, but she wasn't done. "I curled up in a corner that night, that corner over there, and fell asleep. Maybe I wanted the guards to notice me. I don't know. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I
    was all alone. It was cold. I was scared. I walked to the railing. Right there. I'd never felt more alone. It was as if the building had become much taller. Or the city had become much darker. But I'd never felt more alive, either. I'd never felt more alive or alone."
    “I wouldn't make you go down,” Mr. Black said. “We could spend the afternoon up here.” “I'm awkward,” she said. “So am I,” Mr. Black said. “I'm not very good company. I just told you everything I know.” “I'm terrible company,” Mr. Black said, although that wasn't true. “Ask him,” he said, pointing at me. “It's true,” I said, “he sucks.” “You can tell me about this building all afternoon. That would be marvelous. That's how I want to spend my time.” “I don't even have any lipstick.” “Neither do I.” She let out a laugh, and then she put her hand over her mouth, like she was angry at herself for forgetting her sadness.
    It was already 2:32 P.M. when I finished walking the 1,860 stairs down to the lobby, and I was exhausted, and Mr. Black seemed exhausted, too, so we went straight home. When we got to Mr. Black's door—this was just a few minutes ago—I was already making plans for next weekend, because we had to go to Far Rockaway, and Boerum Hill, and Long Island City, and if we had time also to Dumbo, but he interrupted me and said, “Listen. Oskar?” “That's my name, don't wear it out.” “I think I'm finished.” “Finished with what?” “I hope you understand.” He stuck out his hand for a shake. “Finished with what?” “I've loved being with you. I've loved every second of it. You got me back into the world. That's the greatest thing