Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

I thought about you. What kind of food did you like, what was your favorite song, who was the first girl you kissed, and where, and how, I'm running out of room, I want an infinitely long blank book and forever, I don't know how much time passed, it didn't matter, I'd lost all of my reasons to keep track. Someone rang the bell, I didn't get up, I didn't care who it was, I wanted to be alone, on the other side of the window. I heard the door open and I heard his voice, my reason, “Grandma?” He was in the apartment, it was just the two of us, grandfather and grandson. I heard him going from room to room, moving things, opening and closing, what was he looking for, why was he always looking? He came to my door, “Grandma?” I didn't want to betray her, I turned off the lights, what was I so afraid of? “Grandma?” He started crying, my grandson was crying. “Please. I really need help. If you're in there, please come out.” I turned on the light, why wasn't I more afraid? “Please.” I opened the door and we faced each other, I faced myself, “Are you the renter?” I went back into the room and got this daybook from the closet, this book that is nearly out of pages, I brought it to him and wrote, “I don't speak. I'm sorry.” I was so grateful to have him looking at me, he asked me who I was, I didn't know what to tell him, I invited him into the room, he asked me if I was a stranger, I didn't know what to tell him, he was still crying, I didn't know how to hold him, I'm running out of room. I brought him over to the bed, he sat down, I didn't ask him any questions or tell him what I already knew, we didn't talk about unimportant things, we didn't become friends, I could have been anyone, he began at the beginning, the vase, the key, Brooklyn, Queens, I knew the lines by heart. Poor child, telling everything to a stranger, I wanted to build walls around him, I wanted to separate inside from outside, I wanted to give him an infinitely long blank book and the rest of time, he told me how he'd just gone up to the top of the Empire State Building, how his friend had told him he was finished, it wasn't what I'd wanted, but if it was necessary to bring my grandson face to face with me, it was worth it, anything would have been. I wanted to touch him, to tell him that even if everyone left everyone, I would never leave him, he talked and talked, his words fell through him, trying to find the floor of his sadness, “My dad,” he said, “My dad,” he ran across the street and came back with a phone, “These are his last words.”
    MESSAGE FIVE.
    10:22 A.M. IT'S DA S DAD. HEL S DAD. KNOW IF
    EAR ANY THIS I'M
    HELLO? YOU HEAR ME? WE TO THE
    ROOF EVERYTHING OK FINE SOON SORRY HEAR ME MUCH
    HAPPENS, REMEMBER—

A SIMPLE SOLUTION TO AN IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEM
    The day after the renter and I dug up Dad's grave, I went to Mr. Black's apartment. I felt like he deserved to know what happened, even if he wasn't actually a part of it. But when I knocked, the person who answered wasn't him. “Can I help you?” a woman asked. Her glasses were hanging from a chain around her neck, and she was holding a folder with lots of paper coming out of it. “You're not Mr. Black.” “Mr. Black?” “Mr. Black who lives here. Where is he?” “I'm sorry, I don't know.” “Is he OK?” “I assume so. I don't know.” “Who are you?” “I'm a realtor.” “What's that?” “I'm selling the apartment.” “Why?” “I suppose the owner wants to sell it. I'm just covering today.” “Covering?” “The realtor who represents this property is sick.” “Do you know how I can find the owner?” “I'm sorry, I don't.” “He was my friend.”
    She told me, “They're coming by sometime this morning to take everything away.” “Who's they?” “They. I don't know. Contractors. Garbage men. They.” “Not moving men?” “I don't know.” “They're throwing his things away?” “Or selling them.” If I'd been incredibly rich, I would have bought everything, even if I just had to put it in storage. I told her, “Well, I left something in the apartment. It's something of mine, so they can't sell it or give it away. I'm going to get it. Excuse me.”
    I went to the index of biographies. I knew I couldn't save the whole thing, obviously, but there was something I needed. I pulled out the B drawer and flipped through the cards. I found Mr. Black's. I knew it was the right thing to do, so I took it out and put it in