Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

 

    Thursday, October 15
    Los Angeles, California
    7:56 AM
    Raining in LA
     
    It's raining in LA, which is a rarity. When I woke up to thunder, I knew it was going to be an off day. Not necessarily bad, just different.
    Who am I kidding? Everyday has been bad since I came back here. Ever since I left my sisters, my boyfriend, and all my friends back in Hope, Florida.
    Stephan, tried to get me to come home one week ago, but I refused. I thought their lives would be better without me, which is true. But my life sucks without them. I've considered going back, but that would be selfish. This is where I belong — alone.
    It's almost 11 AMin Hope, and I can't help but think I would be on my way to study hall right this second if I were there… Where Stephan is.
    Two days ago, Ethan, Stephan’s stepbrother and one of my best friends, called me. He gave me some good news... My twin sister, Bridgett, was released from the hospital, but she refuses to go back to South Carolina with her parents. She is currently staying at Ethan and Stephan's house. She's “waiting” for me to come back. She is convinced that I will be back soon. I want to. So bad I want to. I miss my sister like crazy.
    Stephan hasn't tried to contact me since last week when he came to LA. I'm sure that he is beyond pissed at me, but Ethan said he just misses me. He said I broke his heart when I left Hope without telling him. It kills me to know that I hurt him. I can deal with my pain, because I deserve it. What I can’t deal with is knowing that I hurt him. He doesn’t deserve the pain that I’ve caused him.
    I think about my first day in Hope a little over one month ago. My stylist, Monica, told me not to fall in love. She was right – high school love does suck .
     
    9:32 AM
    I am broken
     
    I am lying in bed, staring at my bedroom’s ceiling when I hear the doorbell. It is ringing obsessively, and I immediately know that it is Alec. He knows it annoys me, so he always does it.
    I throw back the covers, and look down at my pajamas. I've been wearing them for two days now. I also haven't combed my hair, or taken a shower. My messy bun is starting to fall down, and I am dreading combing it. It's going to be very tangled.
    As I walk down the stairs, I am working on my angry face . But when I open the door, I am shocked to see two people standing there. Beside Alec stands Bridgett.
    “We are kidnapping you,” Alec says, stepping inside my house. “Now, unless you want the paparazzi to take a picture of you looking like this, I suggest you take a shower. You stink.”
    I'm still looking at Bridgett, and have yet to acknowledge Alec’s remark.
    “I'm sorry,” I blurt out. As if sorry would be enough. I left her alone when she needed me the most. It was something that I would regret for the rest of my life.
    “I'm sorry too… about my mom.” She looks like she's about to cry. “She's a controller and a manipulator. She isn't happy unless she gets what she wants, and she wanted me with her. She can't handle the fact that I'm growing into my own person, and not doing what she thinks I should do. I know that I should have warned you about her, but I honestly thought you were strong enough to handle her. You're so much more confident than me. But, now I know that it is just a front. You're broken , just like me.
    “I need you, Scarlett. And you need me. Please, will you come back to Hope with Alec and me? For me, for you, for Stephan…” A tear escapes her eye. “Please.”
    I am scared that I will not be able to speak without crying, so I nod my head. I cannot tell Bridgett no, because she's right. I am broken .
    I am pathetic.
    I need her, and I need Stephan.
    I push people that I love away. Not because I'm selfish, but because I don't know how to depend on others . I'm used to being alone.
    And in this moment, I hate my mom and dad even more because I know they made me like this . I’m so used to being on my own, that I don’t know how to act when somebody cares for me.
    Bridgett pulls me into her embrace, and I can no longer hold in my tears. How could I run away from her when she needed me? I am the worst sister ever.
    “I'm sorry,” I whisper to her. “I shouldn't have left you.”
    She pushes me back. “It wasn't your fault. I fully blame my mother. Let's just put it behind us, and get you back to Hope. You have to finish high school, Scar.”
    “Okay,” I say, wiping away my tears.
    “And you do stink.” She laughs.