Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

lyrics I wrote about him. And I’m scared. What the hell was I thinking when I wrote that song? Or better yet, what the hell was I thinking when I recorded it? That song should have been burnt the second I finished writing it.
     
    My heart beats faster every time you’re near. I want to tell you how I feel. I need you to know that this is real. But I don’t want to tell you — I’m scared of rejection. But I have to tell you…
    You are my today, my tomorrow, my forever. You’ve got my soul, and I want you to keep it. But there’s one more thing that I’ve got to say.
    I know that this is just the beginning. What you and I have is more than a crush. I’m falling in love. Hell, I’m already in love .
    Nobody else can make me feel like this. I’m head over heels. I’m planning our forever.
    I love you. Forever.
     
    The song plays over again in my head, and I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I look over at Stephan, and he is looking at me. I’m looking for anger, but I don’t see any. He’s got a curious expression as he studies me.Maybe he’s contemplating all the ways he can dump me? Or maybe he’s going to murder me? Having your very famous girlfriend write a love song for you has got to be embarrassing… Especially considering he doesn’t feel the same way.
    “What are you thinking?” he asks.
    I’m thinking of all the ways that you can murder me. I’m also wondering where you’re going to hide my body. “Nothing.” I shrug. “Just thinking how weird today was.”
    Weird doesn’t even begin to cover it.
    “I think it was a good day. You got everything you wanted.”
    Not everything.Because if I did have everything, Stephan would be telling me how much he loves me right now… We would be so anxious to get home. Then he would rip my clothes off, devouring me. He would then explore every inch of my body with his tongue, and then when the both of us couldn’t take it anymore he would fuck me senseless… No…He would make love to me… But that’s not happening. And for now, it’s all just a fantasy.
    A very hot fantasy.
    But still, not real.
    “This dress is really fucking hot,” he whispers in my ear. For a moment, I wonder if he can read my expression. Did he know that I was playing out a naughty fantasy in my head? “I want to rip it off.”
    Oh my God. He does know what I was thinking!
    And then he adds, “With my teeth.”
    As if I wasn’t turned on enough, that statement pretty much took me over the edge. I like his fantasy a little bit better. But then I remember that I’m embarrassed. I just confessed my love for him in a conference room full of record company executives, my sister, and my best friend (who I also happened to make out with one time).
    Yeah, the fantasy died before it even began.
    Stephan gives me one of his panty-dropping smiles. “Please, Scar, tell me what you’re thinking.”
    I choke on the air. How am I supposed to respond to that? “I’m thinking that it’s going to be a very long plane ride home.”
    He nods his head in agreement.
    “What are you thinking?” I ask. “You know, besides the sexual fantasy you’ve got going on.”
    “That’s for me to know, and you to find out,” he whispers in my ear.
    Why is it that no matter what Stephan does, it turns me on? I shouldn’t shiver because he whispered in my ear. But I do. And he does turn me on… so much that if my sister and best friend weren’t in the limo with us, I would not be in my own seat.I would be riding on his lap instead… Oh, how I wish they weren’t.
    “What day are you going to fly out to LA?” Stephan asks.
    “I’m thinking Saturday night. I have an interview early on Sunday morning, so I guess it would be nice to get everything settled since I’ll be here a few weeks.” Then I remember that Stephan lives in Hope. And I can’t imagine going two whole weeks without seeing him every day. By the pained look on his face, I think he may just be thinking the same thing.
    “Maybe we could fly out Friday, and I could spend the weekend with you in LA,” he suggests.
    I nod, smiling. “I would like that. In fact, I would like it if you flew here every weekend to see me.”
    “Trust me, I will. Nothing will ever keep me away from you,” he promises, and then kisses me gently on the lips.
    My embarrassment is almost forgotten in that moment. Yet, somehow, it’s in the back of my mind. And I can’t help but wonder what Stephan is going to say once we are