Fall from Love

going to bust open. My grip eases up when I hear the front door shut and a female’s voice float up the stairs. My breath stops as I sit up and listen harder, a part of me wanting and hoping that it’s Holly. I need to apologize to her for what happened earlier. I need to see her and make sure she’s okay. The moment Paul dropped us off back at the house I already had my cell in hand, but Josh stopped me. He told me to give Holly some time or wait until she called me.
    There’s a soft knock at my door and I’m so lost in my thoughts that I jump from the sound.
    “Carter, it’s Jenna. May I come in?”
    “Sure,” I call out. My heart is hammering against my ribs and my throat feels thick. I’m not sure why she’s here, but I know it can’t be good.
    She enters the room, wearing a somber face. With the way she’s treated me in the past, I expect for her to look pissed —actually, I expect her to walk in throwing punches.
    “Do you have a minute to talk?” she asks.
    “Yeah.” I scoot up to the edge of my bed, still gripping the football in my hands. She pulls out my desk chair, turns it around and takes a seat.
    “I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing.”
    Shock courses through me. Why does she care? “I’m doing okay.” I swallow hard and watch her eyes scan over my face.
    “Does it hurt?” She winces, scanning the right side my face before meeting my eyes.
    I shrug. “Not really. Not anymore. The swelling’s gone down a bit.”
    She nods. “Well, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened earlier, for what Travis said and for how he acted. He can be a real asshole when he drinks.”
    I shake my head. “You don’t have to apologize for him. He’s just hurt and wants someone to blame. I get it.” I talk around the lump in my throat.
    “Yeah, well, he has no right to blame you. There’s no one to blame for what happened that night. Josh told me everything and it wasn’t your fault, Carter. What happened up there was just a freak accident and the choices Adam made to join the team, those were his choices. I knew Adam and the type of guy he was, he wouldn’t want you to feel like this.”
    Nodding my head, I swallow hard. I can’t believe out of all people it’s Jenna that’s saying this to me. The two of us have barely spoken more than a few sentences to each other in the past few months… and now this? “Thanks. That, um, that means a lot coming from you.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat, hoping to cover up the uneasiness in my voice.
    She sighs loudly. “I guess, while I’m here, I should apologize for how I’ve treated you the last few months, too.” She looks down at her hands in her lap. “I don’t want you to think I hate you or anything. The reason I was being such a bitch to you over the last few months was for Holly’s sake. She took Adam’s death really hard and seeing or hearing from you was just too much for her. I know how much you wanted to talk to her and I know you were just trying to be a good guy. It’s just... I felt like I had to be a bitch to get my point across. I didn’t want her to hurt anymore... but I am really sorry.”
    “You were just trying to be a good friend. You should never apologize for that.”
    She takes in a deep breath and I can see that she’s struggling with what she’s about to say. “There’s something else you should know.” She pauses, hesitating. “Holly doesn’t know what happened the night of the accident.” She pauses again and shakes her head, “I mean, she doesn’t know the details of what happened. All she knows is that Adam...” her voice trails off.
    It feels like all the air has been knocked out of my lungs. “She doesn’t know? Does she know... Does she know that I was up there with him?”
    She shakes her head and my head drops into my hands. No wonder she can still stand to look at me.
    “And I don’t want her to know,” she adds.
    My head jerks back up and I stare at her. “What? Why?”
    She sighs and gives me a pleading look. “I tried to tell her. About a week or so after the accident, I sat her down and wanted to tell her then. I wanted to tell her everything, but she said that she didn’t want to know. She said that she didn’t need to know the details. I know it’s not right to keep her in the dark about it now, but she’s been doing so well and I don’t want to bring her back down. Does it really matter anyway?” she asks, but I can’t find the words