Fall from Love

steam follows.
    “Hi.” He shivers, stopping just a few feet from me.
    “You must be freezing. Why don’t you come inside?” I offer.
    “I’m fine, but your hair is wet. Are you cold?”
    I’m not sure if it’s the nerves buzzing around inside me or what, but at the moment, I’m not cold at all. “I’m okay for now.”
    “Sorry to just show up like this. I just didn’t like the way we ended things earlier.” He squints and his eyes search my face. “Are you okay?”
    “You could’ve just called,” I say, not answering his question.
    His eyes hold mine, unwavering. “No, we won’t see each other next week and there are a few things I want to say to you, and I want to say them in person.” He sniffs and takes a couple steps closer until we’re only inches apart. I can’t take my eyes off him and the closer I look, I could swear that he looks like he’s been crying, too.
    “What you said earlier today, I know what you meant, I mean, I know what you were trying to say at least. I feel the same way.” He pinches the space between his eyes, looking frustrated with himself. “It’s just, I’ve been telling myself that I shouldn’t feel like this about you. When we first started hanging out, I just wanted us to be friends. I wanted you to look at me without all the pain in your eyes. I wanted to see you smile. I wanted to hear you laugh. I didn’t want anything more than that.” He turns around and walks a few steps away from me. “But, dammit, I’m having all these other feelings now. It’s not something I expected, I don’t know what to do about them, and it’s scaring the shit outta me.”
    He glances at me and I don’t miss the way his eyes scan over my lips before they finally meet my gaze. I swallow hard and can feel my chest rising and falling in quick movements. “When I said all of this in my head on the way over, it sounded so much better.” He sucks on his bottom lip, almost as if he’s hesitating on whether or not he should continue.
    I’m about to open my mouth, to say something to break the silence, but he begins again and I find myself holding my breath. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m not sure if we should cross this line because, if we do and for some reason it doesn’t work out, I’m not sure we can go back to the way we are now.” He stops talking and I remind myself to breathe, hoping I’m strong enough to hold the tears inside until I’m back inside the apartment.
    He takes a couple steps towards me and I back up until I hit the wall. When I realize there’s nowhere else to go, I feel the tears building inside me and I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to hang on. He raises his right hand and wraps his fingers around the side of my neck, using his thumb to caress my cheek. I’m tempted to close my eyes, lean my head back, and enjoy his touch, but I don’t.
    “If I ask you something, will you be honest with me?” he asks, searching my eyes.
    I nod my head slowly.
    “Have you been crying?” His eyebrows knit as he scans my face.
    Against my better judgment, I nod again.
    His jaw clenches and the grip he has on my neck tightens. It doesn’t hurt, but the pressure causes the ache in my chest to worsen. It’s taking everything I have inside me not to kiss him right now.
    “I’m not trying to hurt you, Holly. I’m trying to protect you. Please don’t misunderstand me. I want you. I want to be with you. I’m just not sure if I should.”
    I nod again because I’m not sure what to say in return. There’s also the fear that if I open my mouth to speak, tears will soon follow.
    “But damn if it’s not killing me not to kiss you right now.” He glances at my lips and then his head falls forward, landing next to my cheek. I can feel his warm breath down my neck and I nearly break apart right then. My head falls back and I close my eyes, trying to force out the anxiety, the fear, and the desire... all the emotions that are swimming around inside me.
    “Kiss me,” I whisper, surprised to hear those words escape my lips. All of my defenses are down and I’m just not strong enough to resist him anymore. I want him. I want all of him.
    Pulling back, he looks at me with a torn expression, like he’s fighting an internal struggle within himself. Without hesitation, I lean in and softly press my lips to his. His lips are warm and soft, I can feel the resistance in them. Finally, giving in, he kisses me back with so much force that my