Fall from Love

is...” her voice trails off. “It’s not my place to say, but I think you need to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel.”
    “I tried to tonight, it just came out wrong.”
    “Maybe this break next week will be a good thing, then. It will give you some time to think about what you want,” she says, giving me a smile.
    I nod. “Yeah, maybe.”
    “Will you be okay?”
    Laughing, I wipe away my tears.
    “What’s so funny?” she asks, looking confused.
    “I was just getting used to you not asking me that all the time.”
    She smiles again. “I’ll try to keep it to ten times a day or less over Thanksgiving break.”
    “I’m going to take a hot shower,” I say, taking a deep breath in, feeling a heaviness in my chest.
    After taking a few steps, I stop and turn around to face her. “Thanks, Jenna. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
    She sighs and falls back onto the couch. “I am pretty badass, aren’t I?”
     
    ❧
     
    I’ve been standing in the shower so long now that the hot water knob is the only one turned on and lukewarm water is barely coming out of it. Shutting off the water, I tear back the shower curtain and reach for my towel. The hot water helped relax me, but it can’t help take away the emptiness that is still in my chest. I’m not sure anything can help that right now.
    As I’m clearing off an area on the foggy mirror, there’s a soft knock at the door. Without even opening the door, I know it’s just Jenna and she’s just checking on me.
    “I’m almost done,” I call out.
    “Holly, can you open up the door for a sec?” Jenna asks, her voice guarded.
    Grabbing my robe, I wrap it around myself and pull the door open a crack. “What?” I can now see that her strained voice matches an even more worrisome expression. “What is it?” I ask again, feeling my heart pick up speed.
    “Carter’s here.”
    My stomach drops and my throat feels tight. “Shit,” I breathe.
    “Do you want me to ask him to leave?”
    “No,” I blurt out a little too quickly and maybe with a little too much enthusiasm. “Just tell him I’ll be a minute.”
    She nods and I shut the door. My mind is so distracted and nervous that I don’t even know what to do first. Clothes, Holly. Clothes would be good .
    When I see the coast is clear I run back to my room and throw on a black and gold CU sweatshirt that is lying on my bed and pull on a pair of jeans. As I’m buttoning my jeans, I get a quick glance in the mirror and can see that my eyes are still red and puffy from crying. I blink hard, wondering if I should put on some makeup, yet I know that nothing is going to hide it, especially nothing in the next minute or so. Pulling my hair up into a tight bun on the top of my head, I slip my feet into a pair of flip flops. My movements get quicker when I realize that he and Jenna are probably out there talking, right now, at this very moment. I’d rather leave a hungry bear alone with him right now than Jenna. I hurry out the door, not caring too much what I look like anymore.
    When I enter the living room, I see Jenna sitting on the couch, flipping through channels.
    “Jenna, where is he?” I ask looking around.
    “He said that he wanted to wait outside.” She shrugs and meets my eyes.
    “What? Jenna, it’s freezing outside!”
    “Yeah, that’s what I told him.”
    Rolling my eyes, I turn on my heels and head for the door, feeling awful that he has been out there this whole time. When I look to my right, I see him standing at the end of the breezeway, bouncing up and down, trying to keep warm. His hands are stuffed in his jean’s pockets and his back is turned towards me. For a moment, I stand there and watch him, enjoying the warm, fuzzy feeling that’s swirling around inside me. It’s one of those times where I wish I could capture the moment and bottle it forever. My feelings and emotions have been all over the place the past few weeks. There is a small part of me that doesn’t want to care for Carter the way I do because I know the risk of caring for someone. However, this feeling is also very special to me because it wasn’t long ago that I accepted that I would never feel like this again.
    “Hey,” I say. He turns around and gives me a small grin. His expression has made a complete change from just a few hours ago when we said goodbye. My insides clench as he begins to walk towards me. His nose is bright red from the cold and, when he exhales, a trail of