Fall Guy

tenuously on his black belt. Alligator, probably faux. Even the rims of his retro eyeglasses were black. He used one thick finger to push them back up to the bridge of his smallish nose. His skin was pale but his cheeks were flushed. Perhaps the yelling had accomplished that.
    „Okay,“ he shouted into the phone. „I hear you. It's an emergency.“ I was about to tell him about the new technology, that he didn't have to shout to be heard, but I didn't get the chance. „Five. Got it,“ he said, slamming the phone closed and sighing heavily.
    „You'd think being a waiter would be a low-stress, easy job, wouldn't you?“ he asked me. „Rob's going to have a cat. We have reservations at Lupa, for God's sake. What are you doing for dinner?“ I opened my mouth, then closed it again. This, like his other questions, was no doubt rhetorical. I wondered if he was related to my locksmith or if it was just the luck of the draw. He took a step in my direction. „Rachel?“
    „Yes. How did you...?“
    He put out his hand, not sideways, as if to shake, but palm down and limp, as if he expected me to kiss it. I didn't notice a tiara, so I disappointed him.
    „Kevin. Kevin Bell? Jin Mei said she'd met you.“ He dropped his voice to a stage whisper.
    „She said you're here because of...“ He indicated the door I'd just come out of with a nod of his head.
    „Yes. I'm taking care of Detective O'Fallon's affairs,“ I said.
    „I don't think he had any,“ Kevin said. „Not that I wouldn't have been interested, a man with handcuffs and a nightstick. It's got a certain je ne sais quois, don't you think?“
    „I suppose so, if that's your thing.“
    „Let's not go there,“ he said. „We've only just met.“
    He had a nice smile. Smiling, he didn't look a day over forty-five.
    „So you're saying he was gay?“
    „O'Fallon? No way But a boy can dream, can't he?“
    „What about Parker?“
    „Sweetheart, where are you from, Queens? First of all, this is the Village, not Chelsea. And even there, not everyone is gay.“
    „I didn't ask if everyone was gay. I've only asked you about two people,“ thinking I was starting to sound like Brody, that I better lighten up. Kevin wasn't obliged to tell me anything.
    „Two so far.“
    „Correct.“
    „Curious little thing, aren't you?“
    „Just trying to understand. I didn't know Tim well. In fact, I hardly knew him at all. I'm trying to...“
    „That's trés weird. How'd you get stuck with this?“
    „Exactly my point. I don't actually know.“ I shrugged.
    „So, Parker? I'd say whatever you want him to be, that's what Parker is.“
    „A chameleon.“
    „Honey, if you want this conversation to continue ...“ He rolled his eyes. „Did anyone before moi ever tell you you're no fun?“
    I nodded. „Everyone,“ I said. „That aside, I haven't met Parker yet. Hard to trash someone you never met.“
    „Oh, sweetie, you're not giving yourself nearly enough credit. It's not as hard as you think. Especially when we're talking about Parker. I'll start. First of all, he's a total bitch. Cold as ice, as if we were the interlopers. You know what I mean?“ Kevin had stepped closer now, as if there were people around and he didn't want them to overhear him. „And with Tim? Don't ask. He was like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth in front of him and just did whatever he pleased behind his back.“
    „Like, for instance.“
    „For instance bringing all his street cronies into Tim's apartment after he was told not to. Repeatedly.“
    „He did that?“ I thought of all those dishes in the sink. Tim hadn't even been there the day before. He'd been at his mother's funeral.
    „Oh, please. We'd hear them all the way over to our place.“ He pointed. „On the other side of Jin Mei. Now she's a hoot, you know what I mean. But that's neither here nor there, is it? Parker's the one we're disgusting—oh, I mean discussing— and I can tell you, that boy showed up with his trashy friends, we'd have to close the windows and put on the AC.“
    „Loud parties?“
    „Whenever possible. But would he invite us?“
    „Never.“
    I was a quick study. Kevin beamed.
    „Rob said it would be a cold day in hell before he'd take in someone like Parker.“
    „And what did Tim do, about those parties?“
    „Tim? He was furious. He threw Parker out more than once. But Parker would come back, promise never to do it again, and Tim would take him back. He can be very convincing, that Parker