Faster We Burn

you really want to start this now?”
    “I wasn’t the one who started it. You did.”
    “Sweetheart, you started it that first day when you ran after me and kissed me. I’ve only been following your lead since then.”
    I turned my head to the side and put it on his chest so the temptation to kiss him again wasn’t so strong.
    “So this is all my fault?”
    “Pretty much.” He stroked my hair and I listened to the syncopated rhythm of his heart. I could still feel his desire against me, but I wasn’t going to do anything about it until he asked me to. I’d been in charge, and now it was his turn.
    “Did you even bring anything to wear?” he said.
    “Not really.” I hadn’t thought about that when I’d stormed out. My stuff was still back at the house.
    “So what are you going to wear?”
    “Your clothes.”
    He exhaled loudly and laughed a little. “Jesus, Katie.”
    “What?”
    “There’s nothing sexier to a guy than a girl wearing his clothes.”
    “Well, then what would make me un-sexy?”
    He screwed his face up as if he was thinking really hard about it.
    “Nothing.”

 
     
    Chapter Thirteen
     
     
    Stryker
     
    Between the rum and the fact that she was talking about wearing my clothes, I was seconds away from throwing her over my shoulder, taking her to bed and ravaging her, but I held off.
    We’d always just given in to our desire for each other, one way or another. Maybe there was something to be said for anticipation.
    So, I moved out from under her, giving her one last little kiss on her chin.
    “Where are you going?” she said, confused.
    “To clean up and to find somewhere to put all the leftovers in my fridge.” I grabbed both our plates and dumped them in the sink. It was going to take at least an hour just to clean up everything, but at least she’d started by putting some of the utensils in the sink.
    “You’re not avoiding having sex with me, are you?” she said.
    “No,” I lied. She got up and brought some of the dishes over.
    “Then why do I get the feeling you’re avoiding having sex with me?”
    “I’m not avoiding it, I’m just…not giving in to the urge.” Same difference.
    “Why not?”
    I turned around and faced her. “Because we always do. You say, ‘let’s have sex’ and I’m all for it. I’ve never said no to sex. Well, except for Ric, but that doesn’t really count. I’ve never said no, and I just think we need to…back off a bit.”
    “Why the change all of a sudden?” Her eyes narrowed.
    “I just think we should take a step back. Jesus, the second time I met you we had sex. That’s not exactly how things usually go.”
    “So, are you saying that you want to rewind and start over? That you want to be my boyfriend? Because that’s not what I want.”
    I shook my head quickly. That was definitely not what I wanted. “No, that’s not what I want, either. I just think we should maybe put the brakes on. Just for a little while.”
    “Okay,” she said, coming to stand next to me at the sink and grabbing a sponge. “We’ll slow down.”
     
    ***
     
    In the spirit of slowing down, I slept on the couch and let Katie have my bed. Yes, we had slept in the same bed multiple times before, but that was always after sex. I couldn’t handle being in the same bed with her all night, I knew that much, and when she came out of my bathroom wearing a ratty OAR t-shirt that was too big for her and a pair of my boxers, I nearly said “screw slowing down”, but I took my desire to peel the t-shirt from her skin and shoved it deep down and started doing quadratic equations in my head.
    “Are you sure you’re okay taking the couch?” she said, pulling on the hem of the shirt so it skimmed her thighs. It took me a second to realize what she was saying because I was too busy picturing those thighs spread wide and her head thrown back in ecstasy.
    “It’s fine, Katie. I’ve passed out there more than once.” It seemed dumb to say goodnight because it was actually morning by the time we got the kitchen in order and all the leftovers stored somewhere. Fortunately, neither of us had to be anywhere. She was completely and totally running away from her problems, but that seemed to be her thing, and I wasn’t going to tell her what to do. Not this time. I’d told her not to go see Zack and she’d done it anyway, and look where that had gotten her.
    Even though she closed the door, I could still hear every move she made. Every time she