Faster We Burn

television off.
    “You make up with your mother?” Geez, don’t beat around the bush much.
    “Sort of.” He moved over and I sat next to him on the bed. “How are you feeling?”
    “It’s nothing.”
    “It must be something if you got out of helping Mom dismantle the Thanksgiving decorations.”
    “Shhhh,” he said, winking. “I may be laying it on a bit thick. Nothing to worry about, Katiebug. I probably got something from one of the kids.”
    “Probably.”
    “What’s this?” He pointed to the fading drawing Stryker had made on my hand. I’d thought about scrubbing it off when I was in his bathroom this morning, but couldn’t bring myself to do it.
    “Just a doodle. Got bored.”
    “But this is your right hand.” He pulled my hand closer so he could get a better look.
    “It’s nothing.” I took my arm back and tried to pull my sleeve down to cover it as I searched for a way to deflect his attention. “So what do you think of Adam?”
    “He seems like a very nice guy, but I’m not sure how I feel about your sister getting engaged to him so quick. Even if he did ask my permission after the fact.”
    “He did?”
    Dad nodded.
    “This morning. Said he wished he could have done it sooner, but he didn’t think he could do it before I’d really had a chance to meet him.”
    “Wow.”
    He moved over some more and held his arm out so I could cuddle against him like I did when I was younger. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done that. His hand went to my hair, pulling it through his fingers.
    “You’ve grown up so fast, Katiebug. All I did was blink and here you are, a young woman. How did that happen?”
    “Well, those growth hormones you fed me probably had something to do with it.”
    “Yeah, probably.” He kissed my forehead and I snuggled closer. He smelled like Old Spice and a little bit of sweat and furniture polish.
    “Dad?”
    “Mmhm?”
    “Do you think I’m a good person? And don’t give me a dad answer.”
    He moved so he could look at my face.
    “Why would you even ask a question like that?”
    “Because of all the stupid things I’ve done. I loved this awful guy who beat me up and I didn’t even want to press charges against him. I’ve made so many mistakes with guys and fighting with mom and school and everything.”
    “I want you to listen to me,” he said, sitting up. “You did not ask for what happened to you. You are not responsible for Zack and his sick mind. To even blame yourself for one single second is wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, Katiebug, but we learn from them. We move on. That’s the key. It’s not that you made the mistake in the first place, but what you do with the result. You are a smart, strong, beautiful young woman and I am proud that you are my daughter. If you believe anything, believe that.”
    It was a total dad answer, but that was what I expected. My dad seemed to see the best in me and my mom saw that I wasn’t what she wanted me to be.
    “Thanks, Dad,” I said, hugging him tight. “I love you.”
    “Love you too, Katiebug.”
    He waited until I left before turning the television back on.
     
    ***
     
    Kayla was supposed to go back with Adam, but she ended up staying for the rest of my break. She said it was because she wanted to show Adam everything, and have home-cooked food, but I knew she was trying to be a buffer between Mom and me. For the next couple of days I tried my best not to get under Mom’s skin. I helped out around the house more than I would have, and volunteered to get groceries.
    I was constantly checking my phone for any message from Stryker. I was curious about the effect of my little note on him. I’d been about to leave him one on paper, but he was sacked out on the couch and his chest was exposed, so I figured it was only fitting that I draw it on him as payback for the times he’d drawn stuff on me. He almost woke up a bunch of times, but I was able to complete it. Somehow.
    I had a long chat with Lottie one night when Kayla and Adam had gone out, and I didn’t feel like being the third wheel again. Dad was still under the weather, so Mom was busy nursing him and I was holed up in my room.
    “Still haven’t heard from him?” she said.
    “Nope.” I’d filled her in on the note, and she thought it was hilarious.
    “Well, he’s alive, according to Trish. She’s talked with him a few times.”
    “Has he…has he said anything?”
    I could hear Trish’s voice in the background