Faster We Burn

answering.
    “Nada. He’s being like a clam with a pearl. The penis effect and all that.”
    I sighed. “Got it.” I hadn’t expected anything less. When Stryker didn’t want to talk about something, there was little you could do to get him to open up. That was fine with me.
    “So, you ready to get back to normal?”
    “If by normal you mean losing Law and Order bets and eating our weight in ice cream, then yes, I am ready for that.” So freaking ready.
    I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. “At least your mother hasn’t grilled you about your boyfriend’s favorite books and then made conclusions about him based on those books.”
    At least her mother hadn’t made her boyfriend so uncomfortable that he stormed out. Not that Stryker was my boyfriend.
    “True. Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Bye, roomie.” Will and Trish must have been playing a game because I could hear both of them yelling in the background.
    “I’m coming, I’m coming,” Lottie shouted at them. “Sorry, I have to go help judge which is more sympathetic, pirates or volcanoes. I swear, these two are going to kill each other over a game of Apples to Apples. Bye, roomie.”
    She hung up and I was left in silence in my empty room. I twirled my phone in my hand, restless.
    My bare walls were really pissing me off for some odd reason. I looked around and found a cup full of markers. I grabbed a pink one and stared at the wall right across from my bed. Mom was going to have a coronary if I drew on my walls.
    I made one little dot. Ha.
    Then I made another, and another. I connected them with a swirly line and kept going, making more lines and more swirls. It was very similar to the design Stryker had drawn on my hand. I added some circles in between, moving the drawing from one side of the wall to the other, and then down to the floor. Once the design was done, I felt like it needed something. I turned on my iPod and looked for some of the music Stryker had given me, searching for one song in particular. “Endlessly”, by Green River Ordinance. It was softer than most of the stuff Stryker listened to, which was why I thought it was so odd when he gave it to me.
    Slowly, I wrote random words on the wall. “Love” and “Happiness” and “Beauty” and “Fun” and “Surprises” and “Music” and “Laughter” and “Magic”. I just wrote what came to mind, and it wasn’t until I’d written “Love” over and over that I realized these were all the things I wanted out of life. My wall had become some twisted version of a vision board. I’d thought those things were totally stupid, but somehow seeing the words written out like that made sense.
    “Oh my God. Mom is going to murder you.” I paused in the act of finishing a letter and looked over my shoulder to find Kayla gaping at me and my newly-decorated wall.
    “Yeah, well, wouldn’t be the first time.” I wrote “Love” again and glanced back at Kayla. “Where’s Adam?”
    “Just making some coffee. You want some?”
    “Sure.”
    “We were going to watch a movie if you want to join us.” She hovered in the doorway.
    “Sure.” I capped the marker. One wall was enough for tonight. I took out my phone and snapped a picture of it, just in case.

 
     
    Chapter Fourteen
     
     
    Stryker
     
    I almost called her or texted her so many times I lost count. But I didn’t know what to say after I’d given her the cold shoulder. If I called her and she came over and we had sex, we’d be back to square one, only I couldn’t go back to that place. The place where I didn’t care so fucking much. Really, though, I’d never been there. That first night when I saw her, I’d cared. When I’d seen her eyes scared and wide, I’d felt something that was stronger than just a guy wanting to help a girl out of a bad situation. Even then, I’d felt it. I’d never had a chance, really.
    I spent the days without her eating leftovers and learning new songs and working as many hours in the frigid temperatures as I could on rebuilding a few engines. I skipped out on Band, much to the anger of everyone. It was Allan’s turn to host, and he was the most upset. I pretended I had food poisoning, but I was sure none of them bought it. Trish called me to basically tell me to get my head out of my ass, which was less than helpful.
    The night before classes started back up, there was a knock at my door. My heart did a funny little lurch and I told myself over and over as I