Fear of Falling

invited!”
    “Oh wow! That’s great, Angel!” I beamed, dropping my chopsticks and giving her a hug. “So, um, that was, um, Blaine or…”
    “Oh no, that wasn’t your badass, boy-toy bartender. That was Mick. I’m guessing he runs the place and wanted to invite us personally.”
    I fought the frown creeping onto my face. “So…he didn’t want to speak with me? About the job?”
    “Oh shit, Kam! I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask!” She squeezed my arm in apology before grabbing a tray of edamame. “I’m sure he’ll get around to calling you.”
    I nodded, hoping she was right. It had been three days since I applied and, with each passing day, I grew more restless. I knew it was stupid to feel so anxious; I had pretty much written off any opportunity at Dive after my careless flirting with Blaine. Still, I couldn’t deny the fact that I hadn’t stopped thinking of him.
    The reality was, I wasn’t the type to act recklessly. I wasn’t impulsive or spontaneous, and I was cautious to a fault. To the point of insanity . I couldn’t risk a wrong turn. I couldn’t do anything to bring undue attention to myself. And to blatantly pursue a guy like Blaine could be dangerous to me and my already delicate rationality.
    We had just finished our sushi feast and were sitting cross-legged on the carpet, watching Modern Family when I heard my cell phone ringing a couple feet away. Dom reached over and grabbed it for me while I lounged on the floor, my head nestled in his lap. This was the norm for us. Affection between the three of us was effortless, yet next to impossible with anyone outside our circle.
    “Hello?” I answered, chuckling into the phone, my eyes still glued to the screen.
    “Hi,” replied a voice dripping with sensuality.
    I shot up like someone had lit a match under my ass, smacking Dom in the face in the process. “Hi,” I squeaked.
    “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” His voice was deep, and slightly raspy with just a touch of southern drawl. Just as I had remembered.
    “You’re not.” Ok, I said that way too fast. I scrambled to my feet, mouthing a half-hearted apology, and dashed to my room, earning more than a few sideways glances from my roommates.
    “I wanted to tell you that you got the job. If you want it.”
    “Oh?” There was more than just a trace of surprise in my voice. “Really? Um, wow.”
    “You sound shocked.”
    “I…I am. I didn’t think… I mean, I only made one drink for you.”
    “It was a really good drink,” he replied with a sexy seriousness that made my tummy quiver.
    I swallowed the whimper in my throat. “Yeah?”
    “Yeah. So…do you want it?”
    “Oh, yeah. Definitely.” I had to wonder if we were still talking about the bartending position.
    “Good.” Blaine was quiet for a long beat, and I imagined him rolling that barbell between his full lips. I listened for the clink of metal against his teeth. “Can you start Wednesday afternoon? I’ll be training you. Is that ok?”
    “Sounds good.” More than good. “Anything else I should know? What should I wear?”
    “We’ve got t-shirts with Dive’s logo on it. I’ll give you a few. Anything for the bottom. Except, um, skirts.”
    “Oh. Are skirts against the dress code policy?”
    I heard him suck in a breath. “No. They are just very…distracting. On you. You distract me.”
    “Is that a bad thing?” Oh, hell. I was flirting. No, no, no. But I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Not when it came to him.
    “Depends.”
    “Depends?” I said in my best innocently naughty voice.
    “If I distract you too.”
    I didn’t know how to respond, and the growing silence was shifting from nervous to awkward. Of course he distracted me. He had distracted my thoughts ever since I walked into Dive teary-eyed and mournful three weeks ago. But there was no way I could tell him that.
    “Ok, well, I guess I’ll see you Wednesday.”
    “Yeah. Goodnight, Kami.”
    “Goodnight, Blaine.”
    I held the phone to my chest after swiping the OFF button, then looked up to find a smirking Angel leaning against my doorframe. I was so busted.

    “So, Kami, how have you been since our last visit?”
    I nodded, fidgeting with a loose thread on my tank top. “Good.”
    “Good? So no irrational fears or meltdowns?”
    I frowned at the grey-clad psychiatrist sitting across from me. Good shrinks were so hard to find, and this was my third since moving to Charlotte. I felt like I could do without