Fear of Falling

again,” Blaine said on my approach. He gripped the edge of the bar and leaned forward like he always seemed to do. I didn’t know if it was out of habit or if he was discreetly stretching. I knew how standing on your feet for 8+ hours could wreak havoc on your back.
    I shook my head and rolled my eyes playfully. “Dude, you really gotta quit calling me that.”
    He crooked a knowing smile and narrowed his eyes at me. “Why? Are you done running?”
    Running? Was I done?
    “Nobody’s running, Blaine. I’m here, aren’t I?” I replied in a small, yet confident voice. I wanted it to be true. Oh God, how I wanted it to be true.
    Silence filled the space between us, muting the lunch crowd chatter and background music. His gaze never left mine. The way he looked at me put me oddly at ease considering the intensity of his stare. He had the eyes of a man that had seen things. Eyes that were soulful and wise, yet vibrant and sultry. Eyes that made me want to run away, yet urged me to stay.
    The subtle movement of his mouth working over the barbell threaded through his tongue was enough to distract my thoughts and focus on the task at hand. Work. I was here to work.
    “So…where do you want me?” I sputtered without thinking. “I mean…do you want me behind the bar or, um, uh… Should we get started?”
    Blaine chuckled, throwing his head back. When his eyes returned to mine, they were playful and full of mischief. “Sure, Kami. I want you back here with me.”
    I couldn’t help but inwardly scoff at his choice of words. Then again, mine were just as cringe-worthy. I needed to put my game face on. Playtime was over. This…whatever it was…was over. It had to be. I had let too much of myself peek out from beneath the mask I wore for the general public. A mask that had only been penetrated by the two people I shared a home and any semblance of a life with. Blaine wasn’t one of those people. He would never be one of those people. And if he knew the real me, not the person who pretended to be sane enough just to get by, he wouldn’t want to be.
    I squared my shoulders and stood next to him, careful to keep a bit of distance between our bodies. That seemed like the right thing to do. The safe thing to do.
    Assessing the space between us and my unreadable, stoic expression, Blaine frowned. “What? Something wrong?”
    Nothing was wrong with him. Not a single damn thing. It was me. It was always me.
    I shook my head, mentally fixing my mask back into place. “No, Blaine. But I came here to work, remember? And you’re here to train me. So maybe we should focus on that.”
    I could see his tongue rolling the metal inside his mouth, successfully thawing my cold glare and warming the space between my thighs. Shit. I was still here. The real me was still in this moment. With him.
    ShitShitShit.
    It was going to be a long day.

You ever get that feeling in your gut that something is about to happen? Something…big? Life-changing even? Something that would not only rock your world right off its axis but flip it upside down and shake the shit out of it? Yeah, I totally got that about three weeks ago.
    I should’ve known the first time she came tearing into the parking lot. The first sign? She had been crying. Not drama queen, full on sobbing, but there were definitely tears. I had been just about to duck back in after a much needed break, when the screech of her tires caught my attention.
    I froze.
    Hell, there was no way my legs could take another step. Even with mascara smeared under her watery eyes, I could tell she was beautiful, and I think that fact made it even harder for me to turn away. I wanted to ask her what was wrong and wipe away every tear. I know it was absurd of me to want that. Shit, it was downright creepy. But she looked so…sad. And alone. And maybe even afraid. Like whatever it was that she had just run away from was bound to show up any second and drag her back to the hell she had just escaped.
    After a brief chat on her cell, I watched the internal battle play across her features as she tried to get her emotions in check. That should’ve been my chance to escape. I could turn away from her and let her deal with her own misery. I had enough of my own and I’d be damned if I’d take on someone else.
    But I didn’t turn away. I didn’t abandon the hellish North Carolina summer for the air-conditioned sanctuary of the bar. Nope. I took a step forward. Toward her.
    She began fixing her