Fear of Falling

was barefoot and shirtless, dressed only in his jeans. His hair was damp, and tiny droplets of water rested on his shoulders. Now I had a full view of the ink that adorned his skin. Vibrant, detailed art roped around his arms and extended up his chiseled shoulders. There were a few pieces that had the privilege of kissing his cut torso, and the carved V that was fully exposed in his low-slung jeans. As if that weren’t enough to turn my belly inside out, I caught the glimmer of something silver gracing his left nipple.
    Holy. Shit. His nipple was pierced.
    I tried to take it all in without staring but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He was frighteningly beautiful; a rare work of art that needed to be admired and thoroughly explored.
    “Sorry, my shirt kinda got blood on it,” he mumbled, placing it with his shoes on the ground. “And I, uh, don’t…um. I don’t wear underwear.”
    I swallowed just to give my mouth something to do, because if I didn’t, a whimper was sure to escape.
    “That’s ok,” I squeaked as I climbed into bed. “But I have some Hello Kitty boxer shorts if you think you’d be more comfortable.”
    Blaine shook his head, a visible blush on his cheeks. He hit the light switch and advanced to the other side of the bed tentatively, his eyes trained on me the entire time.
    “I’m sorry, but…is this alright? You’re ok with this, right? I swear, I won’t try anything.”
    I nodded, because oddly, I was alright with it. “Yeah, Blaine, hop on in and make yourself comfortable.”
    As Blaine slid between my sheets, a million fantasies played through my head of him sliding between…other places. Even over the fragrance of my body wash, I could smell his natural scent that somehow seemed concentrated in the close proximity. It made me so much more aware of every one of his breaths and sighs as he settled beside me. I lied stiff as a board, wondering what to do next.
    “Come here,” he demanded gently, pulling my body into his.
    He placed my head on his chest, his strong arms wrapping around me tightly. I could feel his cheek against the top of my head. It was heaven. I felt like I had died and gone to paradise as my body melded with his. The feel of his skin, his scent, his arms holding me protectively as if I might be snatched away from him…it was incredible. And confusing. And tempting.
    “Kami,” he whispered, just as I had let my eyes close.
    “Yeah?”
    “I want you to know that nothing is going on with me and Wendy. She and I haven’t been like that for several years. And I sent her home tonight. There was no way I was going anywhere with her.”
    “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Blaine. That’s none of my business.” But I so wanted Blaine to be my business.
    “That’s where you’re wrong,” he retorted. “As the one that I actually want to spend my time with, it is your business. You were way off earlier. I don’t want some skanky-dressed chick. I don’t want a woman that feels like she has to dumb herself down to be around me. And I don’t someone so easy that it makes me feel violated.”
    I chewed my lip, suddenly aware of how close my mouth was to his nipple ring. “So what do you want?”
    “I think you know that already, Kami.”
    I exhaled, and let myself settle against his body, the sound of my name wrapped around his tongue replaying in my head. And for the first time in years, I didn’t need to count each fear in the jar in my windowsill. I hadn’t even thought about it. With Blaine’s arms wrapped around me, his fingers tracing circles on the bare skin of my arm, I drifted into sleep easily. And when my subconscious took the reins, there were no monsters. There was no fear. It was the scary-beautiful man beside me who starred in my dreams.

I tried to stay awake for as long as possible. I didn’t want to sleep. I didn’t want to miss a single second of feeling Kami in my arms. I didn’t want to forget her scent of vanilla and orchids, filling my senses as I breathed her in. I didn’t want to let go of the overwhelming urge to run my hands over every inch of her petite body until she shook with need. Need for me .
    But after working all day, then beating the shit out of that drunken asshole, I had to finally give in. I let my eyes close and tried to hang onto the edges of my reality, refusing to dream. Because my dream was right beside me, curled against my body.
    Some time during the night, I felt her jerk awake and gasp. I