Fear of Falling

didn’t even realize that my hand was in my hair, pulling in frustration. Trying to get her to open up was like trying to steal a steak from a pit bull. That shit just wasn’t happening.
    “No, Blaine. There’s nothing you can do.”
    I shook my head. I didn’t want to scare her away, but I could see that she was miserable. I didn’t want her shouldering that misery alone. “Try me, Kami. You said you trusted me. Do you really think there’s anything you could tell me that would push me away from you? Because I’m telling you straight up right now—I’m not going anywhere.”
    She met my penetrating stare, those green eyes filling with tears before she batted them away and turned her head. I felt like a fucking asshole.
    “I’m…I’m fucked up, Blaine,” she whispered. If I hadn’t been hanging onto her every sigh and whimper, I would have missed it. “Like really fucked up. And if you knew what was good for you, you’d leave me alone.”
    “I don’t believe that,” I replied, shaking my head. My hands cupped her face, turning it back towards me. I needed to look her in the eyes. I needed her to see just how serious I was. “I’m not going anywhere. I mean that.”
    She pulled away from my touch and shook her head. “I’m telling you, I have problems. And you don’t need the headache. I’m not like your other girls, Blaine. I can’t be saved.”
    What the fuck?
    “My other girls? What the hell does that mean?”
    A hard scowl marred her soft features as if she was conjuring an unpleasant memory. “CJ. He said you like damaged girls. He said you needed to feel like you could rescue them.” She looked down at the cooling mug of tea in her slightly shaking hands. “Because of your mom.”
    I was on my feet and pacing, fists clenched at my sides, before good sense could stop me. “CJ needs to mind his own fucking business!”
    Kami flinched, and I instantly regretted my outburst. I willed myself to calm down, shaking away the fresh wave of tension. “I’m sorry,” I muttered pathetically. “But he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t have any other girls, Kami.”
    She nodded, though I could tell she was unconvinced. Shit.
    “But you have, and that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? You do feel the need to fix girls like me, don’t you?” Anger and disgust replaced the fear that had occupied her face. “You can’t fix me, Blaine. So don’t even try.”
    “Dammit!” I nearly flew to her side, snatching the mug out of her hands and setting it on the nightstand. “That’s not why you’re here, Kami. Not at all. Do I want to take your pain away? Yes. Do I want to make it so you never have to wake up crying like that again? Hell yes. But do I want you here just to satisfy some sick wounded-bird complex? Fuck no!” I grasped her face between my hands, forcing her to look at me. “I want you, Kami. I care about you, and that’s the only reason why I want you here with me. Ok? Fuck what CJ said. I just want you . And if you need me to demonstrate just how much that is, I’d be happy to… Again.”
    Her face flamed red, as memories of the early morning hours came barging into the tense moment. She was remembering my lips on her, tasting, sucking, teasing. My tongue plunging into her, devouring her sweetness like it was my last meal. The feel of my barbell flicking her sensitive clit, causing her to cry out my name.
    Kami was ready for me, and holy fuck, I was ready for her. But I wanted to make her feel good. I wanted her to know that I wanted nothing from her aside from her taste on my tongue. And my God, she tasted good. So good that I was ready to dive in for another round just to hear her scream my name again.
    Or maybe that was just what my sick, twisted mind wanted to believe. It was hard to tell, being that all the blood in my body was centralized elsewhere.
    “Do you trust me?” I asked, touching my forehead to hers.
    “Yes,” she nodded.
    “Then stop trying to leave. Just stay, Kami. If you don’t want to sleep, we don’t have to. I can just hold you. Or we can talk. Whatever you want to do.”
    “I don’t want to talk anymore,” she replied with a shake of her head. “Let’s just…lay here. Let’s just be.”
    I crooked a smile and eased her head down on the pillow, positioning myself on my side to lie beside her. We stared at each other for long seconds that turned into minutes, neither one of us knowing the right words to say. I wanted her