Fear of Falling

She can’t help that. She did nothing wrong. She has no one, just like me and Dom. Those two are my family. Their love is the only kind that is safe enough to accept and return.”
    She was alone? Safe enough? I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from interjecting.
    “Blaine, I told you before that I was unlovable. That hasn’t changed. But I know we all need love. Even people like me. And those two have found a way to give me just enough to keep me waking up in the morning. Without it, I don’t know where I’d be. So no, we don’t have some freaky poly-amorous relationship. There is nothing sexual between any of us. They are my family. Nothing more, nothing less. And while we may be a fucked up family to the outside world, we are a family nonetheless. I’m sorry if you can’t understand that.”
    Fuck it.
    I turned around to face her, grasping her lotion-slicked hands in mine. She lifted her head, revealing the pain that she tried to keep hidden right underneath the surface. I had hurt her feelings. I was being a jealous asshole and made her feel bad, like the insensitive prick that I was.
    “Baby, I understand, ok? You don’t have to explain anymore. They’re your family. I accept that. And I love that they care about you so much. Ok? Don’t you dare apologize. I should be the one apologizing to you for being such a douchebag.”
    A small smile crept onto her face. “Well, I wouldn’t call you a douchebag…”
    “Oh yeah?” I jibed, trying to bring back our lighthearted banter. “Then what would you call me?”
    “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Ok, maybe a tad bit douchey.”
    I chuckled, pulling her close, so I could plant a kiss on her forehead.
    “Ewww, stop, Blaine! I’m sweaty!” she squealed.
    “Well, lose the cover-up, and come swimming with me.”
    “No thanks. You go ahead,” she said shaking her head.
    “You’re not going to swim? It’s scorching, and we’re at the lake. What did you plan to do?”
    Kami reached into her beach bag and retrieved what looked to be a big ass smartphone. “I’ve got a date with my Kindle.”
    I took the eReader from her and powered it on. “So let’s see what kind of smut you read while fantasizing about me.”
    “Smut? I don’t read smut!” she giggled. Once again, my dick was straining against my shorts.
    I pointed to one of the book cover icons and held up the Kindle. “What’s this one about?”
    A sly smile spread across her pouty, pink lips. “A con artist and a sexy tattoo artist with lots of ink and piercings. Lust, deceit, redemption. All very tragic and beautiful. And hot. Very hot.”
    I licked my lips and peered down at her heated expression. “So you like guys with tattoos and piercings, huh?”
    Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth and capturing it with her teeth, Kami gave me a naughty look that had my balls aching. “Oh yes. I find them to be extremely sexy…on the right guy, of course.”
    “And what’s the right guy?” I didn’t know where this game was headed, but I sure as hell wanted to play.
    “Hmmm, tall, tan, brown eyes, gorgeous smile. A hard, chiseled body. And hair that looks like he just had crazy hot sex with someone who likes to pull it. Know anyone like that?”
    Fuck. Me .
    “Babe, if you don’t stop it, I’ll be forced to take you out in that water and help you out of those bikini bottoms.”
    Kami laughed, but I was dead serious. I had no plans for our first time together to be in public, but if she kept this up, I would be driven to betray my good southern manners.
    “Ok, ok,” she chuckled, holding up her hands in surrender.
    I diverted my attention from the way her breasts bounced when she laughed, and looked back down at the Kindle, which was the only thing keeping me from adding an indecent exposure charge to my rap sheet.
    “How about this one?” I asked, pressing another icon.
    “Mafia romance. Good guy with a rough past meets a nice girl with her own demons. He tries to leave the family,” she explained, as she made air quotes with her fingers. “But, of course, it’s not that easy. She tries to break it off, but they can’t live without each other.”
    I pointed to another, thankful that blood had started to flow to my other extremities. I just had to keep her talking.
    “Oh, you’d like this one. It’s about a motorcycle club. Well, actually about this one girl who falls for the head of an MC and all the crazy drama their lifestyle bring. Really gritty and just…