Fear of Falling

was the sexiest thing I had ever seen, and she didn’t even know it.
    Slowly, I pulled at the strings of the halter style dress and let the thin fabric fall around her waist. Irresistibly smooth skin stared back at me, and, dammit, I wasn’t one to let an opportunity go to waste. I leaned over and pressed my lips to her shoulder, trailing a path to the other.
    “What are you doing?” she half-moaned, prompting me to repeat the ritual.
    “Protecting this precious skin from the hot country sun,” I answered, running my tongue along the back of her neck.
    She giggled and turned to face me, her green eyes burning with lust. My gaze fell to her pebbled nipples straining against her bikini top. Shit. What I wouldn’t give to have them in my mouth again. But I didn’t need these other assholes getting a glimpse of what was only for me. Hell no. Gently, I turned her around again and opened the bottle of sunscreen. My mouth would have to wait, but at least I could still have my hands on her.
    “You enjoying yourself?” I asked, making small talk as I rubbed her soft skin. To be honest, I was trying to subdue my raging hard-on. I had to focus on anything but the feel of her under my fingers.
    “Yes. You?”
    “Yeah, I am.” I knew this was the best time to ask her about her relationship with Dom and Angel. I didn’t know when I would get another chance. And if she admitted to being more than friends with them, I could easily jump in my truck and drive away from the situation before my temper got the best of me.
    “So you’ve known Dom for a long time, right?” I asked, opening the conversation I had been dreading.
    “Yeah. About five years.”
    “And Angel? You two are close too.”
    “Yeah? Why?”
    I was done rubbing sunscreen on her back but I kept massaging her shoulders, thankful she couldn’t see my face and I couldn’t see hers. “It’s just…you three seem really close.”
    “We are close, Blaine,” Kami replied with a hint of suspicion.
    “No. I mean, close -close. Like, not-normal-close.”
    Kami spun around to face me, disconnecting the comfort of contact we had just seconds before. “What are you getting at?” she asked with narrowed eyes.
    I ran a hand through my slightly sweat-dampened hair. “It’s just…the way the three of you are, Kam, it’s weird. Not bad weird, just weird. How it seems like you always need to be touching one another. Or how you always need to be together. And how affectionate you are. I don’t know… even the way you move around each other, like it’s choreographed. Like you’ve been spending every second of every day with them for years. Like you know them inside and out. Like you aren’t whole without them.”
    I picked up my beer and downed most of its contents in one gulp, suddenly dying of thirst. “Kami, I don’t want to be jealous. But, shit, I am. I am, ok? I can’t help it. Hell, I want my movements to be synchronized with yours. I want you to always need to touch me .”
    Without thinking about it, I reached out and brushed the back of my hand against her cheek. “I wanna be weird, too.”
    Kami stared back at me, expressionless. Hell, I couldn’t even tell if she was breathing. But at that very moment, I hated my need to always speak my mind. With each silent moment that ticked by, I felt like someone had dropped me in the middle of Lake Norman and left me to drown. And for a second, that scenario seemed much more comfortable.
    “Take your shirt off and turn around,” she finally muttered.
    Confused, I did as she requested, happy to escape her disapproving gaze. Fuck. Had I just totally messed up everything?
    Kami grabbed the sunscreen, and seconds later, her small hands were massaging my shoulders gently. Even though the tension was as thick and unforgiving as quicksand, I couldn’t help but be wholly aroused.
    “Dom was there for me when I had no one. When I wanted to give up and lie down and die, he wouldn’t let me,” she said quietly, her hands still working the lotion into my skin. “He helped me learn to put one foot in front of the other. He still helps me. We help each other.”
    Whoa. I didn’t know what explanation I was expecting, but I sure as hell wasn’t expecting that. I kept my mouth shut though. I knew she needed my silence right now. Anything I would say would be misconstrued as a judgment.
    “And Angel… Angel was rejected by the people who were supposed to love her the most, simply for being who she is.