Fearless Golf: Conquering the Mental Game

to their next practice round, they often report back to me they are better able to cope with on-course adversity as their alter egos than as themselves. The plan obviously then is to start bringing their own approach in line with their hero’s, so that the two become one and the same.
    To get you started on that plan, study a player and learn the tendencies that make him successful and then adopt them as your own on-course persona. In fact, what may be even more helpful is to approach specific holes in the manner of a certain type of player. Maybe this tricky par 3 is played like a steady LPGA player like Meg Mallon, who plays conservatively to the green and then lets her putter do her scoring. Maybe this par 5 is played like John Daly, where a long iron approach shot is aimed at the pin and your sand wedge will save you if your aim isn’t rewarded. In not too long you might find success and, more important, your expectations for success might be raised, too. Remember, modeling from others who have found success allows you to learn from their mistakes rather than having to make those mistakes yourself.

    Verbal and Social Persuasions

    As I’ve already observed, individuals’ (including golfers’) self-efficacy is most strongly influenced by how they frame the results of their experiences as well as how their performances stand up relative to the performance of others. The third way that self-efficacy develops is through the direct messages we receive from other people. Professor William Purkey once observed that “we tend to become what we think other people think we are.” When we treat people in special and positive ways, we increase the likelihood that they will come to view themselves in positive and special ways. Similarly, when we disparage others, demean them, or belittle them, we rather powerfully ensure that they will view themselves as unworthy, useless, even unlovable. When recalling the development of his own confidence, Davis Love III relayed to me a story about his father that illustrates the impact of getting the right messages from others:

    DAVIS LOVE III: I always felt that if I was working on the right things, or doing the right things, that I had the ability to win or to be a top player.
    DR. VALIANTE: Where is that rooted?
    DAVIS LOVE III: Lot of it came from my dad. He always told me at every level, “Do you realize how good you are? Do you realize how good you can be?” He was a good coach. Before Bob Rotella, he was a Harvey Penick disciple. I was always positive and I think a lot of that came from my parents saying, “You’re a good person and if you work hard you’re gonna get rewarded.” I always had that confidence that I could do it or that it was just a matter of how I was gonna get there. Maybe that came from my dad’s determination. Always telling me what I need to work on, but always in a positive way. What’s in me, or what came from him is hard to say. I said in that little book we did that I hit it in the woods one time in college and Seve Ballesteros was winning Masters and British Opens, and I hit this big high cut 3-iron out of the woods about twenty feet from the hole, and Dad said, “You know that the two most exciting players in the world right now are you and Seve Ballesteros?” and I heard things like that all the time. Now was a lot of it BS? Was it a father’s excitement? Maybe, but I was pretty good too. He didn’t mind telling me that I was good. I think that it has always given me confidence in myself, and that I would either work hard enough or put enough time in or have enough ability that I could do it eventually.

    Golfers must be aware of how verbal and social messages influence their confidence. Recall the chapter regarding mastery and ego goals. Recall how Mike thrived on the attention and praise he received from golf. Golfers like Mike who come to rely too much on the opinions and praise of others also put themselves at the mercy of others. If you allow others to raise your confidence with their praise you also allow them to sting you with their criticisms. Finding the right balance of whom to listen to, and when, is essential for social messages to increase confidence.
    Surrounding yourself with people who are honest, but also positive, helps increase the odds of developing strong confidence in yourself and in your game.
    Jonathan Byrd is one of the brightest stars on the PGA Tour. One of the reasons he is exciting to me is his confidence