Fearless Golf: Conquering the Mental Game

in his ability to be a top player. Where is that confidence rooted? Certainly it has to do with a combination of factors including mastery goals, prior success, and great framing. Another area in which his confidence is rooted is in the messages he receives from family and friends. At the 2003 Masters, I was standing next to Jonathan’s wife, Amanda, as we watched him hit balls on the practice range. Recall that there were women protesters rallying against the club’s all-male membership policy just outside the gates of Augusta that year. We were talking about the protesters when Amanda jokingly observed how inappropriate it would be for her to join the protests outside the gates of Augusta. When I asked her why it would be inappropriate, she said that “I don’t think the Masters committee would appreciate the winner’s wife engaged in a protest.” She truly believed Jonathan was going to win the Masters that week, a message I’m sure she conveys to him all the time. She believes so strongly in Jonathan that it helps him to believe in himself.
    Does it mean Jonathan Byrd will win the Masters? Hardly. But it does mean that it will be that much easier for Jonathan to believe in the possibility himself, no matter the circumstances. Recognize the power of those close to us to help us along. Faith naturally breeds more faith, so take advantage of others’ confidence in you to restock your own confidence in yourself.
    Lest the reader should feel that I am suggesting that the messages we give others should always be positive and flattering, let me take a moment here to speak about the cautions that psychologists offer about delivering “praise.” First, it is important that positive feedback and encouragement should be delivered honestly and in its proper measure when the recipient is deserving of them. Providing positive feedback is valuable. We all want to feel positively about ourselves and about our capabilities. When it comes to golfers young and old, teachers and parents play a critical role in nurturing their positive self-beliefs. But heed carefully psychologist Erik Erikson’s caution that

    children cannot be fooled by empty praise and condescending encouragement. Their identity gains real strength only from wholehearted and consistent recognition of “real” accomplishment. They may have to accept artificial bolstering of their self-esteem in lieu of something better, but what I call their accruing ego identity gains real strength only from wholehearted and consistent recognition of real accomplishment, that is, achievement that has meaning in their culture . . . a strong ego does not need, and in fact is immune to any attempt at artificial inflation.

    Praising a person for a job well done is an important way of showing love, support, and attention. Keep in mind, however, that praising with statements such as “You are terrific!” or “You’re just so good at this” can often have the opposite effect you intend. Rather than praising for ability, we should make it a habit to praise the effort, persistence, and perseverance that it takes to succeed. Praising for ability tells a person that success is a matter of natural talent (which people tend to believe one either has or doesn’t have). Praising for effort tells the person that the harder you work the more you accomplish, the more skillful you become, and the more you develop your talent. Nothing is emptier than empty praise.

    Physiological and Emotional States

    This chapter is about confidence, which, as you’ve read, is often understood as the antithesis of fear and doubt. While self-efficacy is about your belief in your ability to hit golf shots, it is also about your belief in your ability to manage yourself along the way to hitting those golf shots. Golfers confident in their ability to stay cool under pressure approach pressure situations with serenity, tranquility, and sharper focus.
    The final source of self-efficacy has to do with the physiological and emotional states that are often interpreted as fear. When I say “fear” I am not only referring to that all-out, mind-bending fear. Note that fear exists along a continuum. Hence, I am also referring to the panic, stress, pressure, anxiety, and self-doubt that differently affect golfers as they navigate the day-to-day challenges of the game. At a certain point, everyone feels some of these nasty mental invaders and confidence-testers. It is how one copes with them that makes the