Fearless Golf: Conquering the Mental Game

feeling is. To absolutely be scared to death that you are not going to be able to perform. And then you do. You pull the shots off—sometimes to your own amazement. It is an incredible feeling. That being scared, that’s fun. That’s good. If you are not scared, if you don’t get that adrenaline pumping, all you can do is average things. I love that. And that is the thing that people don’t understand. If you are not scared, it means you don’t care.
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    I constantly remind golfers not to hide from the obstacles that the game throws at them or that their minds try to create. We do not run from obstacles because they will always find us, especially since we cannot run from those within our own minds. So we challenge the obstacles, the fears, by identifying them, learning about them, and understanding how they work against our chances for success.
    The first step in fearless golf is to consciously make a decision not to be afraid, or maybe at least to not be afraid of being afraid. We cannot pretend there is no chance of a slice or hook into the trees, but we can set about a process for minimizing the chance for that scenario to play itself out. This is a matter of preparing in advance so that we leave nothing for fear to feed on.
    Questions focus our minds in the same way a lens focuses a laser. If Dante was right and the mind can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven, then the path to that hell is often paved with terribly absurd questions. Alternatively, the road to heaven (and to successful, fearless golf) is paved with reasonable and effective questions.
    A client with whom I worked named Don Snider is a prime example of someone who learned to play through (and with) adversity. Don is an attorney in Boca Raton, Florida, and a fanatical golf fan. He came to me with a common complaint that many golfers face. In important situations he got nervous to the point that he was almost afraid to hit a golf shot. Though he tried everything he could think of to make the fear go away, he simply could not. Sound familiar? Convinced that nervousness was a sure sign of doom, he tended to make bad swings that would kill his score. “If only I could putt under pressure,” he said sadly. “Can you teach me how not to be nervous?”
    When I explained to Don that all successful golfers on the PGA Tour experience the same feelings, he was incredulous. When I told him that a floppy stomach and tight hands mean only that you are excited and that you should welcome those feelings, he almost asked for a refund. He had come to me hoping I would teach him how to get rid of those thoughts. He hadn’t expected that I would suggest to him that he should learn how to play with those thoughts. When our day together ended, he was unconvinced. What follows is an unedited e-mail I recently received from Don:

    Hi Dr. Valiante,

    I know I am one of your smaller fish, but I am pleased to report that a success story is building and happening!! So many of the things we talked about have really sunk in and helped me. My play continues to be really solid, even under pressure! Possibly, especially under pressure! My attitude has been consistently great for several months now, and I am enjoying the game again. I’ve had many rounds in the very low 70’s, even during some match play competition that I’ve recently been playing in. I think I’m going to be one of your real success stories. A couple of the specific points working from our time together.

    1. Even on a bad day, I have to come through.

    2. If I’m nervous, just deal with it, as opposed to trying to make it go away. Whatever demons I have, just deal with them, don’t wish them to go away.

    3. Keep grip pressure consistent during the swing.

    4. Be a mastery golfer. Always try to hit my good shot; don’t think about what I’m trying not to do.
    Don

    Don’s goal in coming to me had been to learn how not to be nervous. My objective for Don was for him to learn how to hit shots while he was nervous (a strategy that, once mastered, dulls nervousness). As you see, he learned to cope with his nerves. His self-efficacy began to increase dramatically, the fear began to subside, and his golf game and his spirits improved. Oh, and I did charge him.

    In terms of processing information, the mind is not much different than an Internet search engine like Google. When a golfer steps to the tee of a difficult hole and at the last moment (or at any moment, really) asks himself,