Find You in the Dark

illnesses, if you must know. I saw first hand the nightmare she put my grandfather and my mother through. It wasn't pretty. She refused to get help too. And you know what happened?” She barked at me. I was shocked to hear this. I had no idea that her grandmother had suffered from any kind of mental illness. Rachel had never mentioned it.
    “What?” I asked quietly. “She killed herself when I was ten years old. That's what happened. And all because she swore she was fine and my grandfather believed her.” Rachel's voice broke. I felt cold at her words.
“So don't you see? You aren't helping Clay by enabling him! You need to get your ass back here, and let the people whose job it is to help him do it. Yeah his parents sound shitty, but they just may ultimately know what's best for him - not you.” She was being harsh and I wanted to ignore what she was telling me. But there was a small part of me that heard her and knew the advice she was giving me was good.
    “And you should call your parents. Hearing from me that you're all right isn't the same as hearing it from you. You have great parents. Don't ruin your relationship with them for some ill-conceived Florence Nightingale complex.”
    I heard the motel door behind me open. “Maggie? Why are you out here?” Clay asked from the door way. I looked over my shoulder at him. He had put on his pants, but hadn't bothered with a shirt. His hair was rumpled as he squinted in the morning light.
    “I've gotta go, Rach. I'll call you when I know where we're going.” I assured her. “Maggie. Seriously. Come home. This is nuts!” She pleaded. I didn't answer her, instead I disconnected the call.
    Standing up I shoved my phone in my pocket. “Rachel?” He asked. I nodded, following him into the room and shutting the door behind us. “What did you tell her?” He eyed me warily. “I told her you had some stuff going on and we needed to get away for awhile.” I lied. No way could I tell him that I had spilled his entire mental history to her. I seriously doubted he'd want her to know about all of that ugliness.
    Clay pulled me closer and kissed me. “I was scared when I woke up and you weren't here. I thought...that maybe you had left.” He looked at me with a vulnerability that frightened me. I hugged him tightly. “Never, Clay. I'm not going anywhere without you.” I told him and he relaxed in my arms.
    Clay got in the shower and we looked in the phone book for a place to get some more provisions. There was a Target two towns over. So we got in Clay's car and went to Brookerton. We loaded up on shampoo, soap, toothbrushes and toothpaste. I splurged a bit and got myself a curling iron and hair dryer. I was glad that I had thought to grab my cash card before leaving Davidson.
    We went back to the motel room and I brushed my teeth for at least fifteen minutes. I had never been so thankful for toothpaste in my life. I spent some time and curled my hair, letting it rest in pretty waves around my shoulders. Just because we were on the run, didn't mean I couldn't look nice. When I was finished, I sat beside Clay on the bed. He was going through messages on his phone. He looked up at me and smiled tenderly. He touched a strand of my hair. “You look beautiful.” He said softly. I leaned over and kissed him, feeling so full of love in that moment.
    His attention was pulled back to his phone. “What is it?” I asked, peering over his shoulder. “Ruby texted me last night.” He said, turning the screen off. “What did she say?” I asked him. “She wanted to know where I was.” “Did you answer her?” I inquired. Clay shook his head. “Not yet. I'm not really sure what to tell her.”
    We were quiet for awhile. The weight of our decision playing heavily on our minds. “What are we going to do? I mean, we can't stay in this motel room forever.” I reasoned, picking at the skin around my fingernails. Clay smirked. “Why not? This is high class living.” He joked. I lightly punched his arm.
    He sobered. “I know you're right. I just can't go back there. My life is over if I go back. Maybe we could find some quiet town to live in. We could get jobs, a place to live. Really start a life together.” Clay seemed so hopeful. I, of course, knew that sort of wishful thinking would never happen. I still needed to finish high school. And what about college? Yeah, I didn't think things through very clearly in my rush to run away with Clay.
    In the harsh light of