Find You in the Dark

had to remember him crumpled on his bedroom floor, sobbing uncontrollably and I put those thoughts firmly away.
    The medication also made him really sleepy. He was having a hard time staying awake in his classes and at lunch time. Instead of eating, he would often put his head down on the table and nap, pulling his army jacket up over himself.
    During one such lunchtime nap session, Rachel poked him in the arm, soliciting no response. “I have never seen someone sleep like he does. What is his deal?” I glanced over at him. He hadn't touched his pizza. He never ate much anymore and I could see that he was losing weight.
    “He's just tired. Leave him alone.” I snapped at her. Rachel looked hurt by my tone. “I was just asking. No need to bite my head off. Well, while we're on the subject. What is up with you lately?”
    “Huh?” I asked, genuinely confused as to what she was talking about. Rachel took a bite of her chicken salad sandwich, then delicately patting her lips with a napkin. “Don't you 'huh' me. I'm talking about your emergence as Super Bitch. Well at least where Danny and I are concerned. Clay, on the other hand, gets all the sunshine and roses.” I looked at Daniel and he just shrugged a shoulder and went back to reading his sports magazine.
    “I'm not grouchy all the time. Sorry if I've been less than my usual uber fun self.” I joked. Rachel snorted in annoyance. “Well, whatever, just stop taking your pissy moods out on the two of us. You know if there's stuff going on you can talk to us.” Rachel looked pointedly at Clay who was starting to stir. I ignored her remark, refusing to acknowledge, even to her, that there was any sort of problem.
    Clayton sat up slowly, stretching his arms over his head, causing his shirt to ride up over his flat stomach. My insides did that funny little twist that often happened when I allowed myself to focus on how beautiful he was. Why did I have to be all “let's be friends?” Because watching Clayton rub his eyes and run his fingers through his delicious curls made me really question my own sanity.
    Clay wiped at his mouth. “I didn't drool did I?” He smiled sleepily. I rubbed his bottom lip with my thumb, reveling in the feel of his mouth. God I wanted to kiss him. Clay gave me a slow, sexy smile as if he was reading my mind and I dropped my hand. “Nope, drool free.” I told him, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
    “Here guys. Don't forget to buy your tickets all this week after school.” Lila, Rachel's friend appeared at our table, dropping a brightly colored flier in the middle of our lunch trays. “What's this?” Clay asked, picking up the pink paper. “It's the Fall Formal. We have it the last weekend of October. You should come; it's a lot of fun.” Lila batted her eyelashes at Clay, who was oblivious to her flirting. He was studying the information on the flier intently.
    Lila, clearly disappointed by his lack of interest, gave us a halfhearted wave and headed to the next table. I leaned over Clay to have a closer look at the paper. I allowed myself to brush his arm with mine; feeling little prickles of awareness as our skin touched.
    “You guys going?” Clay asked. Daniel and Rachel looked at each other and then back to us. “Well we usually go to the Fall Formal as a group. We save the whole date thing for Prom. It's much more fun to go with friends. We go out to eat somewhere really cheesy like Pizza Hut, purposefully wear horrible formal wear and buy the ugliest corsages we can find. It's a lot of fun.” Rachel told him, looking excited.
    Clay looked at me. I realized how close our faces were and I backed away a bit. “You go to this? I can't see you doing the whole dressing up thing.” Clay said. I frowned, not liking that he seemed to have difficulty seeing me doing something girlie. I was by no means a tom boy or anything. Maybe I wasn't as into the whole appearance thing as Rachel and other girls at the school, but that didn't mean I was lacking the required chromosome to enjoy it.
    Clay realized he must have said something wrong and started verbally backpedaling. “No, I just meant that it seems a little lame. I just can't see you doing something like that. You know, because you're too cool for a school dance.” He squeezed my knee under the table in unspoken apology. I covered his hand with mine and squeezed back. “Nice save.” I whispered and he grinned.
    “But I do go to the Fall Formal. Me, Danny, Rachel,