Fine Line

‘assistance’?” Jay breathed in deeply. “I have contact with certain professionals...”
    “Prostitutes,” the mediator offered when Jay hesitated.
    “Yes, prostitutes, who are experienced in dealing with sexually inexperienced men, and who I know have the necessary sensitivities to deal with emotionally and sexually restricted men.”
    “Did you offer to send Mr. MacAllister to such a person?”
    “No, I did not.”
    “May I ask why?”
    “He’d told me that he’d had anonymous encounters and one night stands before, that they frustrated him more than anything. That, and the amount of time it took for him to trust me enough to open up to me, told me he wasn’t a good candidate for such ‘treatment’. I know a few men I could suggest to him, but it would simply take him too long to relax, so such a visit wouldn’t have the desired effect.”
    “And what effect were you trying to achieve?”
    “I wanted him to understand that it was possible, that he could bring himself to release by his own hand. The first step towards a satisfying sex life is knowing your own body. A teenager masturbates and by doing so, discovers what he or she likes and dislikes and what feels good and what feels better. He never had that.” A silence fell after Jay stopped talking. He knew his passion had shown and that this could possibly turn against him in the long run, but he couldn’t go against his instincts. He wasn’t sorry for what had happened that first time Mack had achieved orgasm in his office and he The Fine Line by Zahra Owens

16
    knew that in the long run, if Mack allowed it, it would have the desired effect.
    The mediator turned to the other party now. “Mr. MacAllister, could you tell us how you felt after that session?” Jay heard Mack clear his throat. “I ... I felt dirty.” Jay’s heart sank.
    “But also ... I don’t know how to describe it. It was like a weight had fallen off my shoulders. I knew I could physically ... ejaculate. I’ve had a few wet dreams, so to speak.” The insecurity in Mack’s voice made Jay look to his side, past the man’s counsel, but Mack was looking at an invisible speck on the wall. “But this time I was awake and aware of the feelings it invoked in me.”
    “You say you felt dirty and in your complaint, you stated you felt violated, yet you returned to Mr. Ellis’ practice for another session?”
    “Yes, I did.”

    “I didn’t think you’d be back here,” Jay said as he greeted Mack at the door of his office.
    “Yeah, well, I’m keeping my clothes on this time,” Mack murmured sternly before taking a step forward, indicating he wanted to go inside. “Can we just talk?”
    Jay nodded, leading them to the cosy sitting area, as far away as possible from the reclining chair. He could tell Mack was at least as nervous as he was. Jay’s mouth felt like sandpaper all of a sudden. “Can I get you a glass of water or something?” Mack shrugged, then nodded, so Jay took two glasses and poured them both a drink from a bottle he kept in the small fridge inside one of the cupboards.
    “Why don’t you begin?” Jay said to break the uncomfortable The Fine Line by Zahra Owens

17
    silence.
    “What happened here last time?”
    “You had an orgasm. I got you in the right mood and told you to touch yourself and you started masturbating and had an orgasm.” Jay was well aware he was giving him the professional answer, using all the correct terms. In his own not-entirely guilt-free mind, Mack had come after not only Jay’s voice but also his hand had done the right things to Mack’s body.
    “I didn’t just touch myself, did I? Your hand was in there too and you were whispering in my ear!”
    “Yes,” Jay acknowledged. “You were about to give up, you needed that one additional push. I wanted you to know and to feel that it was possible for you to make yourself feel good.” Mack was sitting in his usual pose, elbows resting on his knees, ready to get up at any moment and he wasn’t looking at Jay. “If that was all I needed then why can’t I do it myself? Why has nothing changed? I still can’t do it alone, Jay! What’s wrong with me?” Jay knew he had to keep eye contact with Mack now the older man had initiated it, but it was excruciatingly hard. He wanted to take his hand, put his arm around him, pull him closer, anything to comfort the man who looked like he was a confident, in-control man in his day-to-day life, but who was clearly