Ghost Time

talking, and I shivered—just talking about it, telling her even that much, I could feel it closing in again, and it scared me.
    Thea , she said, and I knew she was about to say something I’d never be able to escape. And then she did; she said: Promise me you won’t do that anymore? All I could do was let out this big sigh, hearing those words, her voice in my mind. Because it doesn’t work like that. You can’t ask someone to do something for you that… I don’t know, it doesn’t work like that or everyone could just make a promise not to hurt themselves or others. But who in this whole world can make that promise? I was about to argue, but she didn’t care. Promise me , she said.
    I’ve never wanted to be so honest with anyone. Like even more than Cam in a way, because I never felt like I had to protect him—not when we were together, at least. But with Mel, it’s different. She’s the last person in the world I ever want to hurt, you know? But I had this terrible feeling she’d be the person I hurt the most, the worst. I didn’t know how or why, except that it’s just—me. That’s just me.
    I can’t even explain what I saw, looking at her then. I reached for my camera and I focused, taking a picture of her, in profile. Her perfect little nose, her beautiful white skin, hair all curled and her lashes curled and lips glossed. She looked like a girl getting ready for a big date on Friday night. What could I do? I promise, Mel, I said, putting my camera down for a second, sureI got the shot. Thank you , she said. Now show me , she said, her voice changing, sounding excited, wanting me to show her the pictures I’d just taken.
    I think she knows now. I mean, when I showed her some of the pictures I took of us, Mel couldn’t even believe it. She didn’t say anything, looking at them, but I knew. I mean, I knew it was a lot for her to take it, a lot of thinking was changing, seeing herself so differently, and she does the same for me, too. Honestly, Mel showed me things about myself even Cam had never seen. Like just because you make some mistakes… I mean, even really bad mistakes, and you hurt so many people, being stupid, that doesn’t mean you can’t make it right, do good—change, even. Then she goes, Thee, I’m tired of all this hiding, all the secrets. I want my mom to know—we aren’t doing anything wrong, and I don’t want to hide anymore. I thought about it, and I go, I don’t blame her, really, for wanting you to stay away from me, my life, and Mel said, I do. I blame her every day.
    I said, Mel, you have no idea, and she goes, I have no idea? You’re wrong: I have a very good idea, and when do I get to have a life, too? A few hours every week, don’t I deserve that much? I said, Mel, of course you do, and she goes, I want to talk to my dad, when he gets home. Tonight , she said. I go, All right. But you know what he’s going to say, and she said, I do. But he has no idea what I’m going to say, does he? I go, What are you going to say, Mel? She said, That he has to tell my mom about you, everything. She was so serious, I took a deep breath. Then I said, I know what you’re saying, but I don’t know that it’s that simple. I disagree , she said. If he wants to live a lie, that’s his decision, but he has no right to make that choice for me. I knew what she was saying, and she was braver than me and Knox combined. That’s when I realized that I needed Mel much more than she needed me. Then she goes, So are we going to talk to him or not? All right, I said, let’s get ready.
    So I set her up in the living room, and we took our positions, waiting for Knox to get home. We almost look like twins, don’t we? she said, and I had to laugh. We’d taken one shot in these matching dresses, and I did our hair the same, sort of. Mel’s hair is a lot longer, but we looked identical. We are twins, I said, meaning our birthday. Mel and I have the same birthday, and we were even born the same hour—crazy, huh? Then she goes, Hey, Thee? What should we do for our birthday? Funny, because I’d been thinking about that, too, and then someone knocked on the front door, and I looked at Mel, and she looked at me, and then I thought maybe Knox couldn’t find his keys, so I walked to the door and opened it. Then my mouth fell open, seeing him, standing there: Foley. It was Foley.
    Strange thing is, he didn’t seem at all surprised to see me there, much less all dressed up. Foley smiles