Ghost Time

been experiencing some rather bizarre events recently, and then they flashed back to a clip of the tire tracks that ended in the middle of an endless field.
    In that same field, the woman said, we now have this, and then a fluorescent image came into focus. Flying directly over the field, the jet had videotaped this enormous heart with an arrow through it—someone tagged the whole damn field with a fluorescent green heart that read, CC + TD = TLA! First thing I did was reach for my tattoo, and I took the Band-Aid off—I’ve been wearing one of those huge Band-Aids made for heels or whatever, and I tried shading my shoulder, but I couldn’t see it. Knox, look: look, I said, and I got up, walking to the end of the hall, where it was dark. He got up and walked over, and I showed him, pulling back my T-shirt. All you could see, just barely, was the scar on my shoulder, but no tattoo. Where is it? he said. It’s gone, I said, shaking my head. Knox, my tattoo is gone—it’s in that field now.
    Knox exhaled a thick sigh, not like one I’d ever heard before, and he turned, heading back into the living room, needing to sit and think about this a second, I could tell. When I followed him back into the living room, I saw that he had a bottle open. Whiskey, scotch, I don’t know the difference. Especially when the bottle’s almost empty. Maybe that’s why he really didn’t want me sleeping over. I couldn’t really deal with that, too, at that moment, while Knox hit play, returning to the end of the news story.
    All I could think about was my tattoo—you could see it from a mile above ground. Isn’t that something? the guy reporter in thestudio said, and I shivered, crossing my arms. Police say that they don’t have a suspect yet, but they do have a few leads, said the chick—what’s-her-name, the one who gave me her card. Leads? I said, and Knox said, The authorities don’t have a fucking clue, trust me—we don’t have any leads. He stifled a belch with one fist, and then he said, Excuse me.
    He was sloppy, but still on the job. Has anyone else seen it? Your tattoo? he said, trying to act as sober as he could. My radioactive tattoo? I asked, and he said, Yes, and I said, No. I taped it up. I covered it with one of those jumbo Band-Aids—no one’s seen me, I said. He scratched the side of his cheek for a moment, thinking it over, and then, finally, he said, This is some fucked-up shit. I don’t know what the hell is going on, here, but I do know some fucked-up shit when I see it. I knew he was drunk: Knox never swears. Then he nodded, agreeing with himself, and then he said, Go on, cocking his head toward the stairs. Off to bed with you, he said, still staring at the TV, so I got up and said good night, passing him. I’d walked halfway upstairs, when Knox called after me, Thea? I could feel him on the other side of the wall, sitting on the couch, staring in the opposite direction, toward the TV. Yes? I said, and then he said, Sweet dreams.
    I crawled back into bed as quietly as I could, but Melody was awake. Thee? she said, and I pulled the covers over my shoulder, turning to her, inches from her face. Is my dad awake? she said, and I said, Yes. He’s drinking , she said, matter-of-fact, and I said, Yes. Every night , she says. He must drink a bottle a night, easy. Sometimes, I’ll wake up, hearing him crying. Because of me , she said, and I said, No—it’s not you, and she said, It is. I know it is. He can’t stop wishing I were healthy, normal, and it tears him up, because he loves me. You know he always says, You’re perfect, my perfect girl, and I don’t know who he’s trying to convince. I just wish… , she said, then she stopped; her eyes welling. You wish what? I said, Tell me. And Mel said, Some people believe everything happens for a reason, but I don’t know about that. I think, honestly, sometimes things just happen and we make of it what we will. But whether there’s any reason or not, I just wish my dad could forgive us both for being who we really are.
    I don’t know if Mel could see the tears in my eyes, but I wiped them off my cheek, then I hugged her arm in mine and closed my eyes. I didn’t say anything, because the one thing I’ve figured out is that there are times you have to find the courage to say everything in your heart. And there are times you cannot possibly say everything in your heart, so you have to find the courage to be quiet and still in the dark.

SATURDAY,