Ghost Time

was about to get himself in trouble. Then he goes, This is a trick question, right? I looked at him, my mouth hanging open, and he tried smoothing things over, saying, Babe, the way I see it, sex is going to happen sooner or later, so it might as well be—. Uh-uh , I said. I cut him off right there, and I said: The way I see it, babe, sex is not going to happen sooner or later, putting a stop to that. I couldn’t even believe him, you know? He sat back in his seat, and he goes, I’m sorry—I was just kidding, and it was such bullshit, I shot him this look, totally disgusted, and I go, No you weren’t. And Cam said, Well, not at the time, but I am now, and I gave him the look, you know, but I couldn’t help laughing at him, and then, out of nowhere, I almost started crying again.
    Cam reached over and put his hand on my cheek, and I said, I’m sorry I lost it; it’s just that there are some really sick fucks in this world, and sometimes I can’t deal with it. Tell me, how… how could anyone do that to an animal? Cam leaned over, grabbing my head, pressing his forehead against mine, and he said, I don’t know, baby. I really don’t know, he said, so I took a breath, one of those trembling breaths, and I was like, Okay. Get a grip, Thea , and I sat up.
    Cam pulled out on the highway, then he looked in the rearview, adjusting it, and he goes, What do you feel like doing? And I go, I thought you wanted to have sex, no? He shot me this look, and he goes, For real? I go, No . Psych! I shouted, laughing, and Cam’s face—ohmygod, priceless. Then I said, JYC—you know what JYC stands for? He bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to smile, because he was getting played like the player he is, and I go, Jerkin’ yo’ chain , that’s what! Then I fell over, laughing, and he started paddling my thigh and my butt, slapping me across the seat: oh, I got him good. I’m sorry, I don’t care how smart he is, the mind of a teenage boy? Talk about sick puppy.

MONDAY, MAY 9, 2011
    (FIVE WEEKS LATER)
    10:47 AM
    I forgot how to do this, how to be alone. Every day now, I wake up, and I think, Oh, yeah. I’m alone again. It’s like Saturdays now… Saturday used to pass in the blink of an eye, when I was with Cam. I was always like, Why can’t every day be Saturday? But now, Saturdays just go on and on; the day feels like a week. And Sundays are even worse than Saturdays.
    We used to drive, take our little day trips, just get on the road and figure out where we were going when we got there. I remember him saying that the first time he took me for a drive, and I said, Where are we going? And Cam shrugged: Guess we’ll find out when we get there. Sometimes I get caught in class, spacing out, staring out the window, and then Mr. McConnell or whoever will ask a question, knowing I’m a million miles away, or a hundred, at least, and then I’ll look up, snap back, and the wholeclass will be staring at me, waiting. Strange, how sound comes back at you, like through a wind tunnel, but time…
    The other day, I was so far gone, Mr. McConnell couldn’t even believe it. He just looked at me, like, You weren’t even close to hearing what I just said, were you? Then he goes, Would you care to join us, Thea? And I couldn’t answer, because I was so caught off guard, and because what I was thinking was, No, actually, I would not , but I didn’t say it. I just looked at my notebook, and people started giggling, enjoying the fact that I’d been called out.
    There was a knock on the classroom door, and Mr. McConnell said, Come in, and every head in class turned to look at me before the door opened: I knew; everyone knew it was for me. I’d seen Linda’s face, peeking around the door, holding up her pink slip like a white flag so many times now, I could tell by looking at her that it was Foley. And because I pulled a runner, I could tell Linda had been told she had to escort me the whole way back. So I followed, ten paces behind her, back to the office, and we walked in, and she got behind her desk, without looking at me again. Cheesy came out of his office, hearing us, and he looked scared, but like I was the one scaring him, not the other way around. Seriously, people are beginning to look at me like I’m contagious.
    Then Cheesy says, Special Agent Foley would like to ask you a couple more questions, Thea. I didn’t even stop. I just nodded yes and walked straight down the hall, heading for the conference room. But