Ghostwalker 09 - Ruthless Game

endured, but this was different. This involved emotions. Soldiers weren’t supposed to have emotions, and now she couldn’t separate what she felt.
    Kane had the power to destroy her. She’d given him that. She hadn’t expected her emotions to be so strong, so overwhelming. Every single day she was drawn more into his world, into his life—into loving him.
    “Tel me what you need, Rose.”
    Kane just stood there in front of her. Stripped. Vulnerable. Al owing her to see him that way. Showing courage she lacked. Her heart contracted. She moistened her suddenly dry lips with the tip of her tongue. How had she fal en so far, so fast? From the time she’d been a child, it had been dril ed into her to know her enemy, to seek knowledge, to have a plan. She’d had a plan until she first saw Kane—in Whitney’s camp.
    “Tel me what you need,” Kane repeated.
    She watched his hands, stroking the baby’s head. So gentle. She knew the feel of his hands on her skin, the way he touched her so possessively but with extraordinary tenderness. Could a man fake that kind of thing? He reached out and ran his thumb down the side of her face, just a wisp of movement, but she felt it al the way to her toes. It was only then that she realized she was holding her breath for real, and she let it out, forcing air in and out of her lungs.
    “I don’t need rescuing.”
    His smile twisted her heart into knots. “Don’t ruin my fantasy, honey. I’m the knight in shining armor and you’re my beautiful princess. I’m not a man of words. I’m just not. I want to say them to you, but I guess I just feel like an idiot trying to be al poetic.” His smile was crooked, almost wistful. “I want to be the man who saves you when you’re drowning, Rose, when life overwhelms you. And I want you to be the woman who does the same for me. I can’t make you believe me. I can only tel you that I’m standing in front of you, very much in love. It’s up to you whether you want to let Whitney take our lives from us.”
    “He’s so cruel, Kane. So cruel. You have no idea what he’s capable of.”
    “I was there. I saw what he was doing. I risked my career, my life, to expose him to the Senate. I can’t make you believe in me, Rose. I can only tel you that you’re free. If you want to walk out that door, I won’t stop you, but if you choose to stay with me, then that gives me every right to protect you in any way that I deem appropriate.”
    She raised her chin. “Do I have those same rights?”
    He cupped her face in his palm, his thumb sliding gently back and forth over her lips. His other palm cradled Sebastian to his chest. “Of course you do.
    You can’t be less than who you are any more than I could be.”
    She found herself leaning into his hand, her knees a little weak. “He’s such a monster, always looming over us, playing us like puppets.”
    “I wish you could have a normal life, Rose. I want you to be able to walk with confidence down to the grocery store or go shopping with Jaimie or even take our son to a park, but we’re different. We’re always going to be different. We have enemies, and we can’t pretend them away. This, what we create here together, has to be enough.”
    She had always known, from the time she escaped Whitney’s compound, that she would be hunted. It made sense that Kane didn’t want her to go off alone without protection, that they always went in pairs or with shadows. If it made so much sense, then why was she panicking? And she was in ful -blown panic. Even her usual y calm mind felt chaotic. What was wrong with her? She had everything in the world standing in front of her that she could possibly want. He’d even told her that he loved her . . .
    She gasped, realizing what was wrong. She didn’t believe she could be worth what she saw in Kane’s eyes. She’d been taught she wasn’t worth anything as a woman or as a human being. She was a soldier, service to her country, easily sacrificed. And she was good for breeding, to provide the next generation soldier who would be so much better than she was.
    Her face flamed. Did she real y have such low self-esteem that she couldn’t believe a man might actual y love her? She knew from the start that Kane was physical y attracted to her—Whitney had paired them. She knew they would have a great sex life, and she’d believed that he would stay with her for that reason. She’d fal en hard for him, something very unexpected and terrifying.