Gin Palace 02 - The Bone Orchard

that moved past my skin. Tina took my hands and held them together and blew on them and asked me what was going on, but I didn’t answer. I didn’t even tell her that what she was doing hurt. I just looked out the passenger door window as we approached the point in the road where the car had gone over the bank and told Lizzie to slow it down a little. I looked for Augie and spotted him on the shoulder of the road. He had a wool blanket around his shoulders and was being led toward the ambulance by a paramedic. Augie looked at the car passing slowly, like maybe he recognized it. I quick told Lizzie to turn on the interior light. His eyes caught mine for a few seconds, and then we nodded. I told Lizzie she could switch off the light, and then the back road turned dark and the bare border trees looked arthritic against the winter sky.
    “What’s going on?” Tina said. I could hear the soft urgency in her voice.
    “There was an accident. A car went into a pond. Your father’s okay. Don’t worry. He’s okay.”
    “You’re frozen, Mac. Your fingers are blue. We should take you to the emergency room.”
    It felt like everything I had left was draining out of me, pouring out of the back of my head, crawling out like something alive desperate to get free. I felt one shoulder sinking lower than the other.
    “Just get me home, Tina,” I told her. “Just get me home.” The hospital would have more than its share of cops when they brought the girl in. I couldn’t be there. My only hope was that Tina would do what I said and not take me there.
    “You don’t look so good, Mac. You don’t look so good at all. Mac? Mac. Mac, you okay?”
    After that, all I heard was the sound of the tires spinning over the pavement, but not nearby, far away from me. I don’t know how long that lasted, or when exactly I started hearing nothing at all.
    Gradually I awoke and became slowly aware of my senses and what they told me. I could tell by the shape of the shadows in the corners that I was in my bedroom, and I could tell by the weight upon me that I was under every blanket that I owned. It was warm under there but uncomfortable. I lay there with my desire to do nothing and followed my senses as they came to me.
    I had been awake for a while before I heard the sound of muffled voices coming from somewhere beyond my bedroom door. I could not hear any words, just hushed talk. I didn’t think about getting out of bed till I heard the door to my apartment open and then close. The voices stopped, and I half listened to the silence for a while longer till I heard water running in my kitchen. I got out of bed then and put on a sweatshirt and jeans, opened my bedroom door, and stepped out into my dimly lit living room.
    I felt like I had been asleep for months, though I knew it couldn’t have been long at all. My hands hurt to the bone, and my skin ached, almost burned, as if it had been rubbed harshly. My hair wasn’t entirely dry.
    Tina was in my kitchen. I saw her briefly as she passed quickly by the open door. Immediately after that I heard the sound of the teakettle being placed on the burner, followed by the burst of a gas flame coming to life. I stayed just outside my bedroom door, so the room would be between us when she came finally out into the living room. Every little bit helped. It felt then a lot like five months ago all over again.
    Tina opened and closed cupboard doors, one after another, looking for something. I assumed it was tea. Had she forgotten already where everything was? I heard the last cupboard door close and then she appeared in the kitchen doorway and took a few steps into the living room. She saw me at once and stopped short. She seemed to me to be as much startled and she was diffident. She just stood there across the small room, frozen, her mouth hanging open a bit, staring at me.
    I muttered in Spanish, “Who just left?”
    I spoke Spanish to her to distract her from the look I was certain all these pains must have placed on my face. She was studying Spanish and I spoke it to her often. Now I wanted her to think I was sharp, that I wasn’t rattled or frightened. Mainly I wanted her to think I didn’t need her.
    Tina said, “How are you feeling?” She watched my face closely as she waited for me to answer. There was an uncertainty about her that I understood right away. We both knew she wasn’t supposed to be here. That was clearly understood. Yet she had helped me, probably even saved my life.